I work here for about 4 months and one of my colleagues keeps pestering me, on my opinion. Maybe I'm wrong and it's just him being kind and friendly, but I feel bad about it and thinking of leaving this job.
When I've started working here, I've noticed that all the colleagues are very friendly and communicate openly with each other and I like all of them except him. In the same time, sometimes I think that I'm unfair or way too hostile towards him but I feel what I feel and I simply can't relax. He does the following:
- private questions (about my health, hobbies, free time, personal life, boyfriend, household composition, etc.);
- unsolicited advices (how to communicate with others, for example, though I have good relationships with my colleagues and friends, or how to spend my free time);
- all of the above is very annoying and if I ignore the question, he will ask it again and again, even if it's very private and it can be understood that people usually won't answer it.
Besides he uses messenger which was intented to be used for work issues to literally terrorize me with questions like "HOW IS YOUR WEEKEND? HOW ARE YOU?" and if I won't read them, he can send up to 10 such messages in different days one after another.
I'm rather shy person, nonetheless I've decided to solve this problem. But I can't decide how to say what I mean politely. He's superiour, all in all. It would be easy if I'd just been the person who hates contacts at work (then I could've said like "don't ask me private questions"), but I like my colleagues and I don't mind to communicate with them. If I could say exactly what I think, it would be like "I like all the colleagues except you, leave me alone if you're not going to tell me something about the work", and it's both rude and weird thing to say. What can I do?
 He is vindictive and tactless:
- if someone fails his task, he will mosk him and remind of it for a week or so;
- if someone talks back, he will speak like "maybe this work is not for you", and he's very close to our boss;
- pretty rude jocks about other colleagues, though never too rude to call them "unfortunate joke";
- he lets himself touch younger (male) colleagues in a rather weird way, e.g. pushing or hit upside the head (softly);
[29.11 edit] (What I've tried to do:)
Today he asked me why I didn't read his message yesterday (judging by starting words, it was regular HOW ARE YOU terrorism, so I didn't even open it) and I was unable to react politely, so I've said nothing and shrugged. But he than criticised me from the point that if I won't read messages from my colleagues, I can miss some important work issues. So I've read his message (out loud) and then said something like "John, excuse me, but when you use messenger to ask me about my dog, you should understand that when I see new message I won't think that it's an important work issue and rather consider it another personal question which has nothing in common with our work. And personal questions from you make me feel incomfortable now, so please, stop asking."
Well, he went mute for a minute. Then he smiled and said that if I'm such a cagey person, this work is not for me, maybe. I've answered that I do my work well, and it's not my job to be friends with him. Then he've just said "OK" and now he complains about me behind my back, but I feel better. Thank you for your good advices, it helped a lot!