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In meetings usually, we have a session for recognition's.

In one of the recent sessions, one of the colleagues with whom I worked with listed out everyone who helped her. She had even mentioned those who worked just for a day with her but she didn’t mention me.

I kind of have this feeling that this is personal because when I was working with her she was kind of bullying me and teaching me how to work in an office since I had just joined, she didn’t let me attend some of the meetings, she called herself as a manager (although she is just an analyst)

She isn’t very professional kind of a person, and most of the people who have worked with her (juniors) aren’t happy with it since she nags a lot and says stuff.

I know this might not sound such a big deal but given the fact for the time period I worked with her she kept making it difficult for me to work.

I want to know if this behavior is justified? If Yes, then if faced in such a situation how to deal with it, or should I start looking for other places?

Edit 01: I worked with her for a decent amount of time and it unloaded the burden (I was working for two people simultaneously, since they were OOO for a couple of days.)

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    From your description, it sounds like she thanked everyone for the help she received. What kind of help did she receive from you? Your description says she worked with you for a day and showed you how to work in the office. That does not sound like you helped her. – nvoigt Dec 18 '19 at 10:48
  • I would not help her again, “too busy”, “sorry, have to finish this” etc – Solar Mike Dec 18 '19 at 10:52
  • @nvoigt please read it again. I wrote she mentioned for those also who worked with her for a day. – Swarley Dec 18 '19 at 10:59
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    @Swarley it's not about the time spent but whether that time helps her with her projects and goals or takes away time from her projects and goals. A ten minute conversation resulting in a suggestion that helps her project can justify recognition, spending a day onboarding a new employee most likely only hurts the progress of her projects. – Peteris Dec 18 '19 at 11:04
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    So was this person mentoring you or bullying you? How exactly did mentoring you help this person? Why would this person thank you for mentoring you? – Donald Dec 18 '19 at 18:11
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Unfortunately, these things happen in the offices around the world.

  • People do not get recognized for what they do good.
  • People are wrongfully accused of a wide array of faults.
  • Colleagues behave too bossy.
  • and the list can go on for quite a long time.

The best thing you can do is to move forward, and not get stopped by all those problems. Even better, while you go ahead, try to fix them.

The best bet is to have private discussion with the colleagues you feel uncomfortable with, and ask them the following questions:

  • how do they see you / your behavior;
  • how do they expect your behavior to be;
  • what they expect you to do, and in how much time.

Do not counter whatever they say. It is OK though to ask for clarifications.

As a conclusion, ask them to help you improve. The best thing that they can do is to tell you:

  • nicely if possible;
  • privately (highly preferred);
  • what they do not like about your behavior;
  • RIGHT WHEN the behavior occurs.

In that way, you will have a better chance to analyze yourself, and make better decisions.


The information above is taken from the theories and best practices about "feedback". You should get more familiar with this topic, as it will help you a lot in the future.


but she didn’t mention me

If you think that the work you did was really worth mentioning, then you should just ask her, during the meeting, why she considers that your work was not worth mentioning.

Based on the answer, you can go to your manager and ask him / her to NOT assign you work in her project - if at all possible. Maybe moving to another team is an option, or changing to another role.

Also, be careful how you choose your words. As much as possible, avoid being ironic, sarcastic, or in any way (potentially) offending.

All this will help you get witnesses, in case anyone would be interested in having more information. That is why you want to be spotless, so your colleagues can speak in your favor.

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You could thank her for letting you be part of this project.

This (1) informs everybody that you worked on this project and (2) reminds her that she didn't thank you.

It also doesn't put her in an awkward position; if she truly believes that she helped you and you didn't help her, then she won't be offended by your gracious thank you.

But be extremely careful to ensure that you don't sound sarcastic; this will produce unwanted and expected (usually unpleasant) results.

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  • And (very likely) get a more serious enemy in the process, since she will understand the sarcasm, and will not take it lightly to be put in the situation to admit that she forgot you entirely. While the strategy is good (inform the colleagues about the participation in the project), sarcasm and other such tricks should be avoided at all costs. My 2 cents. – virolino Dec 18 '19 at 12:50
  • @virolino - there is no need to be sarcastic. You could genuinely thank her for being part of the important project. – Danny Schoemann Dec 18 '19 at 13:19
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    Maybe I am wrong, but thanking the way you suggest, can be easily interpreted as sarcasm. And sensitive people will surely take the opportunity to feel offended. I do not imply the intention of being sarcastic, it is just the final outcome. A direct "confrontation" could be better, since the communication is direct. I have been through situations like this, and I know how they can retaliate from literally nothing. – virolino Dec 18 '19 at 13:23
  • @virolino - good point - I have added a caveat to my answer. And kudos to you on a comprehensive answer. – Danny Schoemann Dec 18 '19 at 13:30
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    @virolino - They don't have to be "sensitive" they can just be oblivious to sarcasm. Lots of people have problems identifying sarcasm, I for example deal with serious things 90% of the time, so when somebody is sarcastic at work I believe it to be a serious problem. I am quickly educated (at my expense) that they were being sarcastic. – Donald Dec 18 '19 at 18:14

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