Does “let's see other people” makes sense in the workplace?

Question

TL;DR: I want to quit my job, take time to think, look at other jobs, and maybe get hired back if both me and my boss feel like it. How can I proceed ?

There are similar questions but my plan is different. I don't want to quit like "I'm off to infinity and beyond" quit. I want to be honest about my hope to come back if issues are resolved, salary negotiations properly done, and mental/physical health improved.

Is it reasonable, and if is, how can I do ?

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Lately I felt the need to quit because of

• stress related health problems

• having 1 (or 1.5 ?) project managers over me to manage a great and unclear number of simultaneous projects.

• because of that, doing everything without having matching pay (15% underpayed), authority, and defined role AKA "we don't get bored here"

• things rely too much on me. I'm regularly asked to do and know new stuff, then I add it succesfully to the evergrowing pile of what I manage. It goes faster than I can document, teach, delegate, and improve tools.

• not feeling understood. When I talk about these issues, I get positive feedback, promises, things change during 2 weeks, and then it comes back to the same state.

I thought maybe getting away could sort those issues. I would get the rest I need, a fresh mind to think about what job I want. Moreover, the company I work for would be forced to fix those problems. They would have no other choices than choose tool improvement over documentation and ninja secrets learning. Choose less projects over trying to do everything at once. I see this as a win-win perspective.

However I like my job and my colleagues and I have the hope to see my company resolve those issues without my help - I mean THANKS to my absence of help. So I don't see why I couldn't get back on board after that. Two of my older colleagues have done that successfully. Both for them and for the improvement of organization. My hierachy trusts me and needs me bad, alas too bad for my own good.

EDIT : I'm not looking for a safety net, as I am guaranteed to find job anywhere else, plus my boss once said "don't hesitate to come back" to a resigning former colleague (even if that former colleague was less trusted).

Context : first job after graduation, 9 years experience, software development, France.

Answer 1

People do leave jobs and return to them, though that generally isn't pre-arranged. Here's what I suggest you do.

First, go to your boss and tell your boss things about you, not about the job. Not "this job is too X" but "I need less X in my life at the moment." Not "it is too Y for me here" but "I need to reduce the Y in my life at the moment." If your boss asks "how can we help you with that?" you might be able to say that you need to report to only one PM, or to have a structured written plan for achieving some specific thing, or you need a raise (this is unlikely because it is a known fact that raises do not fix dissatisfaction) or whatever. Your boss may not ask how to help, or if they ask they may shrug and say they can't do that, or they may say they will do that some day but then not do it. So be it.

Second, look for a job that is a better fit for the needs you have articulated about yourself. One that has less of what you don't want and more of what you do. You may not find a job like that. You may discover that living on the beach 5 minutes from a mountain top with no traffic and low real estate prices isn't possible, and similarly a job that pays really well yet is predictable and low stress, where nobody depends on you and it's ok to get stale -- that job may not exist. If that's the case you may decide to stay put. At least you know your options.

Third, if you find a job that works for you, tell your boss that you are leaving because of what you need "for the moment" and "while I am so stressed" and sort of lay the seed for the possibility that in the future, you'll want this job again, just as it is now, because you will be different.

Fourth, should it happen that you find yourself stronger, or you hear things have changed at this workplace, you can approach them about returning. It might happen (it happens for many people) or it might not. Always have a place to stand before you jump, and make sure it's a place you don't mind standing.

As long as you tell your boss what is wrong with the job and what needs to change about the job, and why a perfectly normal happy person can't be expected to put up with the job, you will have a very hard time ever explaining why you want to come back. But if your position was always "this is how I am now and what I need now" it's understandable that your situation could change again, and make you want to come back. The boss doesn't lose any face with this approach.

Answer 2

No, "let's see other people" does not work on the workplace... except in places where that's explicitly regulated.

For that to work, both sides of the equation need to benefit from it (which by the way is the same reason that doesn't usually work either on the other context), but in this case only you benefit from it.

You basically want to leave your job without burning bridges and having certain assurances you'll be able to return back to it if you feel like it. From your point of view it's all the advantages without any of the risks, you get to search and evaluate other jobs and only after you get to decide what's better for you. It's important to understand here you're never choosing based on what's better for your previous employer, you'll only return if that's the best thing for you.

On contrast, your employer has all the disadvantages. You're gone but your workload is still there, they'll need to replace you with another resource which will have to be trained and brought up to speed on all the knowledge that you already have, putting projects at risk. On top of that, they switch a trusted, verified employee for a big unknown which may not deliver as well as you did. On top of that, you expect them to "save" you a job in case you decide to want to return.

You can, of course, put it forth but it will be considered a simple resignation and they will do the only thing that they can do, hire a replacement and not provide you with any guarantees whatsoever on whether you'll be able to come back. That doesn't mean you'll end the relationship on bad terms or would close yourself any doors, but you can't expect the company to have any deference to you when you're basically announcing you want to look out for something better but keep them as backup.

If you don't burn any bridges (you should not) then you'll likely be able to come back and ask, but that's no different from simply quitting a company in good terms anyway.

Note: In some countries (Spain that I know) there are legal provisions for certain companies that actually grant an exception where the company is legally bound to readmit you for a period of X years as long as you request your job back and the position still exists. This are very rare in practical terms and mostly applicable to the public sector.

Answer 3

Is it reasonable, and if is, how can I do ?

It's reasonable to you but the company has already given you their answer. They don't care enough to fix these issues permanently while you're there, why would they cave when you've left?

Your best bet is, after securing an offer and giving your notice, to stress you're looking for an amiable exit, and that you'll do as much as you can to facilitate knowledge transfer while you're away. If you're asked why, you can tell them a variation of what you've already told them: stress and hectic schedule.

Don't mention salary unless that was the main reason why you quit. If they ever want you back, you'll be in a much better negotiating position by then.

When you give notice they might panic and start promising all kinds of things. If you agree, things will go back to what they are again in two weeks. So, if they do make promises, ask them to put it in writing with a target timeline.

Answer 4

I want to quit my job, take time to think, look at other jobs, and maybe get hired back if both me and my boss feel like it. How can I proceed?

• Quit your job.
• Take whatever time you need to think.
• Look at other jobs.
• Decide if you actually want to get hired back.
• If so, approach your former boss and ask if somehow the company wants to hire you back.
• Then proceed accordingly.

But don't expect much.

Your premise is a bit hard to understand, but it seems to revolve around your thought that your company will change drastically once you are gone. That seems extremely unlikely.

Far more likely is that your company will find your replacement and go on pretty much as they always were.

Is it reasonable, and if is, how can I do ?

Personally, I don't find it reasonable. But we each need to find our own path.

Since you don't seem to want to adhere to the usual advice of "land your next job before you quit this one", just go forward with your plan, assuming that financially you are in a position to do so. I suspect you'll find that you don't actually want to go back. And even if you do, I suspect you'll find that they have moved on without you. It would be hard to expect anything else.

Answer 5

I agree with everything already posted, but I'd like to say: You could try taking a vacation for however much time you have accrued. That's the closest you'll ever get to the scenario you're describing. Assuming the company doesn't say, "You can't take vacation time, this isn't approved," I'd say you could probably get ~9 days in a row or so to figure things out (maybe 16 if you're really lucky and they let you take two weeks).

If that's not enough time, that's not enough time. But it could take a little bit of pressure off of you if you did it that way, with the intent to come back with your resignation at the end of the vacation time if you're unhappy. If they say, "No, you can't take time off, you're too essential!" then, well-- it sounds like all of your complaints are justified. Do you or would you really want to work somewhere that won't let you take any time off?