I recently started a job at an engineering company and I am the only female on my team.
I have the impression that the female HR manager is trying to put me down. She never does this to the newbie guy who started with me, or any of the men at the company, in fact she shows them lots of respect. But I've seen her put down other female workers that are younger than her. It seems like a power trip.
It's mostly really stupid things that in the beginning I just rolled my eyes at, but lately I've been dreading going to work because of it. For example, I worked very late one evening because we had to finish off a major project for a well-paying, important client. That evening I didn't put my coffee mug in the dishwasher as it was already running. So instead I put it in when I came in the next morning (Shocker, right?). But in the afternoon I get an email with a photo of that mug sitting on my desk, taken before I came into the office that morning (so before 8 am), and a stupid rhetorical question along the lines of: "Weren't you raised to clean up after yourself?" BTW, company has no official dish policy.
I have no interest in drama whatsoever, and I am starting to think about leaving my job because of it. But I like literally everything else about it and I get on well with everyone on my team. My boss is happy with my work and I don't think he gives two shits about the dishes.
Unfortunately, she is the only HR person at the company so I can't go to HR. How do I change my attitude in a way that makes it less fun for her to put me down? There are definitely those people who expel that "don't waste my time with that irrelevant shit"-vibe. How do I assert myself as one of those?