I work at a market research organisation mixed with many workers with various professions. I have a teammate who is older than me and has worked for 7 years more than me. Although, she has the same amount of experience in market research as I have. Even yet, she tries to boss me around as if I am her junior.

Being a shy person, I can't counter what she says and when I don't do what she says (which is most of the time), she insults me in front of my team. My actual seniors don't exactly stop her from doing that but they listen and ignore. According to me, even they are sort of afraid of her.

Secondly, she is a "sh#t" employee and has been demoted from her position twice, therefore, has ended up with me.

I need help so as to what my attitude should be with her or is she just out of her mind?

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    That's not good. However, you might not want to talk shit about a co-worker under your real name, if that's your real name. I believe something in this area has been answered a few times with the answer though, being somewhere in the area of 0: document everything that happens, 1: talking 1-on-1 to that person, 2: talking to your boss, 3: complaining to HR, 4: talking to your union, if each step fails along the way, depending on how important this is to you. Finally, don't talk shit about shitty employees, it can bite you in the ass one day and reflects badly on you and doesn't help your case. – Jonast92 Jan 22 at 10:39
  • @Jonast92 - I totally get your point, but I feel stack workflow is really a large community where people might not find each other easily. You are correct that I am in no position to judge my teammate/co-worker, but the problem is it is really hampering my image in front of my colleagues and I have started getting negative thoughts about quitting my job due to this reason, therefore, thought that it would be a big concern with many people here. – Shravan Karmarkar Jan 22 at 11:06
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    @ShravanKarmarkar a quick google search of your name brings up this stack site in the top few results, not hard to click that and then find this very question. – MattR Jan 22 at 12:49
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    a quick google will also tell you how to contact SE staff and ask for a nickname change or how to detach this question from your account. – Walfrat Jan 22 at 12:50
  • @ShravanKarmarkar It doesn't matter if a platform has a billion results. Google knows how to dig yours up when, yes when, people search for your name, which they will. That's going to be a problem. There's nothing wrong with asking such questions, but the way you're putting it forward displays a lack of professionalism that can really hurt your current job and your future employability. – Jonast92 Jan 23 at 9:56

Being a shy person, I can't counter what she says

If she's actually wrong on something she's telling you to do then of course you can counter it. You're choosing not to - I don't say this to get at you. I'm point out that you actually do have the power to act differently. I'm not saying it's easy but you can work on your confidence. Just saying "I can't" is the same as giving up. Don't give up on yourself.

she insults me in front of my team.

Ad hominem attacks aren't acceptable - and there's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself here. If she starts insulting you rather than making comments on your work then say something like,

[Coworker], if you have a problem with something I've done or the way I've done it I appreciate if you kept your comments professional. We're all professionals here so let's not descend into schoolyard insults.

And keep it professional yourself - while I understand your frustration with an unpleasant situation (and that you are likely to talk differently here than you would at work) you straight up called her a "sh#t employee" here, if you're going to be asking someone to not insult you personally you can't go around doing it yourself. Should that attitude leak out at work you lose the professional high ground and become no better than her. If you keep it professional and she is unable to refrain from insults then document everything and if you ever find yourself in a position of taking this to an official complaint/grievance you're putting yourself in the most solid position you can.

If this person has been demoted twice already they likely don't have the best reputation already at the company and there's every reason to believe that if she keeps on behaving the way she has she'll only end up damaging that reputation further - until she gets further demoted or let go. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just keep your own nose clean, be the bigger person and let the problem take care of itself.

You say that management has witnessed her insulting you - ignoring for the moment that they should probably have stepped in and well, managed her there and then I think if they witness her doing that in the future while you remain calm and professional you're going to come out of that looking rather good.

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