I am working on 3 separate projects that are linked under my competency's team but are completely separate/independent from that team's major project. I have been a part of the team for almost a year now. My team has over 30 members and they're all working on a same project. I am a single threaded developer, meaning I am independent and manage everything myself for the assigned projects. I have complete authority on making decisions, communication with clients and even on my office timings, my manager never steps in unless there's some serious escalations and this actually suits me quite well.

I am sometimes bothered about my social reputation among my team. Since, I almost never interact with them for project issues/assistance, I feel like I don't know most of them and don't know what they think about me. I do attend any annual or semi official team dinners/hangouts, but I am mostly sitting idle there, doing my own stuff. They're normally laughing or joking around and I am never a part of it. I feel like they have strong bond. Now, if you ask me, I prefer how things are because since I don't know a bunch of them, I have negative image of a few and always feel like avoiding them.

But this exactly is my concern, if I have negative perceptions about them, they might be thinking the same way about me. Would this affect my reputation in organisation? Would my manager be affected by this? with whom I have an excellent professional relationship.

  • What is a "competency team"? And what career path do you want? Jan 31, 2020 at 14:49
  • @lambshaanxy pardon for a fancy term, we have competencies/departments under which a lot of teams are assigned.
    – Sherry
    Jan 31, 2020 at 14:52
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    No idea how “single-threaded resource” means someone who works on three projects! Jan 31, 2020 at 15:39
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    @Shaheryar.Akram Because it’s in the title, and it doesn’t make any sense. I don’t know if it’s a translation thing or some new business jargon, but I still don’t know what it’s supposed to mean. Jan 31, 2020 at 16:30
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    As if describing people as "resources" isn't dehumanizing enough, now we have to assign them a thread count? Good grief... Jan 31, 2020 at 22:36

2 Answers 2


You described your concerns as,

But this exactly my concern is, if I have negative perceptions about them, they might be thinking the same way about me. Would this affect my reputation in organisation? Would my manager be affected by this? with whom I have an excellent professional relationship.

Any time you have concerns based on assumptions or indirect clues, it can be helpful to step back from the situation and ask yourself some clarifying questions. In other words, try to understand why you felt that way, and check to see how strong the signals are that you're basing your fears on. After taking a moment to think, you may find that your concerns are unfounded. So, ask yourself if there are any actual, direct indicators that other people feel negative perceptions about you:

  • Did anyone actually tried avoiding you?
  • Did anyone perform any action which felt you unwelcome to join / socialize with them?
  • Did anyone behave with you which indicates they they feel negatively about you?

Most likely, you are overthinking this - there are many people / colleagues with who we share the same floor, but do not interact on a day to day basis, that doe not mean we avoid / dislike all of them. It's just we did not have a chance (till time) to socialize / bond with them.

Go ahead, start a casual chat by the watercooler, and you might be amazed to see they make you more than welcome to join them.

However, let me tell you, lack of an interaction does not mean a negative impression. If you can get along with them when there's a need (in a professional capacity) despite the fact that you don't really bond with them otherwise - then that is the essence.

You don't need to force yourself to socialize with others, you just need to ensure that this doesn't become a barrier when you need to communicate with them.

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    I think your last sentence is a great answer all on it's own, and deserves an upvote, but in the spirit of being helpful I will point out that the beginning of your answer struck me as a little harsh or condescending in that your tone seems to discredit the OP's feelings.
    – dwizum
    Jan 31, 2020 at 15:04
  • @dwizum I never meant to be harsh - rather the opposite, wanted them to abandon the idea that others might be thinking bad of them ad be more open. How can I re-word to make it more clear? Jan 31, 2020 at 15:06
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    @dwizum Please go ahead, and thanks ion advance. Jan 31, 2020 at 15:34
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    "...that this does not become a barrier when... " ?
    – O. Jones
    Jan 31, 2020 at 19:49
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    @SouravGhosh I know there are no right or wrong answers to my question, but I accepted it as right answer since it entirely address all of my concerns and also, gives me a lot of satisfaction. Cheers to you!
    – Sherry
    Feb 3, 2020 at 10:37

Talk to your manager, privately. Ask his advice about this situation.

"Boss, I don't have a strong relationship with my peers; I don't interact with them very much for work. Do you think that's a problem? Do you think I should find ways to develop stronger bonds with that team? If so, can you suggest some ways to do that."

This does a few things for you in your boss's eyes.

  • Signals that you care about workplace relationships and strengthening teams.
  • Informs your boss of your view of the situation in a neutral way.
  • Asks for the boss's advice. Bosses generally like to give advice.
  • Makes it the boss's problem. Their job is to worry about team strength, and they have more practice at it than you. If they see a problem, they'll be responsible to work on it.

And, your boss probably will say "don't worry about it," or "I guess I should take you all out to lunch so you can socialize."

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