I have been tasked to work very closely with a slightly more senior colleague at work, he is pretty much overseeing everything I do at the moment.
I find it very difficult to work with him because he questions everything, makes me explain everything I do and every decision I make, explains everything to me (even the most basic stuff in the world he will spend ages explaining to me) and whenever I arrive at a conclusion he pretty much redoes all the work to validate it.
I have anxiety* and get stressed out when talking to people, and pretty much know that I can't continue working with him in the manner that we are, so I am looking for ways to deal with the situation.
I can see 2 reasonable things:
- Talk to this person directly
- Talk to our manager
I am terrified of both because he is more senior, I am in a tenuous position due to being on a secondment that has already expired so I am effectively without a job title (I have contractual stability, but that contract if for a job I really don't want to go back to) and because I get scared talking to anyone, nevermind the potential to upset the entire apple cart at work since he is a popular person.
Does anyone have any advise on how I should approach this kind of problem? Please don't say 'get help for your anxieties' because I have been doing that for years, and don't suggest finding another job either, because while that is an option I like what I am doing and the company I work for at the moment.
*for a bit of explanation; I can usually function ok at work, but in normal conversation where people can say unexpected things I freeze and panic and can barely think of an adequate reply. I have no capacity (or will for) small talk as a result and I avoid pretty much any such social situation (work is usually ok because the subjects are more controlled and purposeful). I am also terrified of upsetting people, and can remember now (at 37) people I upset as a child and whenever I do I get emotional, sometimes to the point of tears. I know that if someone had a problem with the way I do things it would upset me, and I don't want to risk upsetting anyone here, but that is difficult when the problem is related to a person's personality.