OK So I am looking for a job right now, was out of the country for some time and now back in trying to settle. I am a software engineer with 10+ years of experience, I am having a bit of hard time finding job but that's not what I am concerned about, I am concerned about my nature as not being very social at workplace.
I don't feel the need to socialize with other people, to mingle with them and for that reason I pretty much don't interact much with colleagues at workplace unless it is for work related. Apart from that, I am just not a gossip type person and very much oriented toward humanity, tech, politics to some extent and religion etc. But the main point here is I don't interact much with colleagues or don't feel the need too. Part of the problem may be, on a hard note, that I am not much liked person that people want to talk to me or discuss things with me, and yes there might be deficiencies in my personality, I don't think about other people much how they will think or feel (I am very sensitive btw) and as such I kind of 'live in my own world'. Its not that I don't enjoy company, it is that I lack those skills. There were opportunities that I got invited to lunch etc with senior managements but I declined politely just because I dont have the confidence and know that I dont talk much in groups and thus I try to live in my 'easy circle' where I can just interact with my self and family. Although I once used to be great orator, things changed. I wont go into detail, but I am not a fluent person, sometime stumbles on words that I probably need to focus on. I am not the person who makes friends at work place, I almost never go out for lunch from office in group just because I dont have much to talk about and 'I am happy alone'. Some incidences that are work related
Once out with lunch with friends (that I went along well), one them said, 'you say something also' coz I was mostly listening and not saying much
A collegue order lunch for himself, in the same room with me, he invited another collegue from different room to share meal with him, even though I was in same room. I felt odd. Had the odd feeling of being rejected and ignored because he did not want my company.
In an interview, which seem to go well, they asked me if I would like to join them for lunch (it was kind of part of the interview process etc just to see compatibility). I declined politely that I need to go run somewhere etc.
So you see the problem, I probably have communication/personality issues. How can I overcome them or will they pose serious threats to my career as I know these skills go a long way building your career even getting a job.
I have a couple of my own startups, just did not pay much attention to them but one way I think I can thrive is built my own company but again communication skills and other leadership skills are important there too. Advice need. I am worried about my career as Software Engineer and need help with my social/work-related skills.