I’m the second-in-command for a web dev team.
Lately I’ve been really struggling with a task at work. I kept being pushed back with issues I didn’t anticipate, despite asking for help. Because of this we - the team - missed several deadlines. I felt it made me look bad in front of my peers and my boss.
I expressed this to my boss who sidelined my task and gave me another piece of work. The exact same thing happened with this too. Delay after unanticipated delay and more missed deadlines. This was despite me staying back to work late and working over my lunch breaks. I was under an incredible amount of stress.
Today I just snapped. Over Slack I told my boss that I was not a “****ing” telepath and so couldn’t anticipate the problems and that the people responsible for setting up the requirements and guidelines for my work were being incredibly unfair.
I highlighted that I had run my processes past a bunch of my peers and that they had all agreed to my approach and that they too had missed the issues I had come up against. I said the system was unfair, documentation was nonexistent and information wasn’t distributed well enough and I wasn’t trained up enough for the tasks.
My boss took it well and was supportive, but I feel that being so emotional when I am meant to be calm and help to lead the team was a major set back for my bosses trust in me - a leader (even a second in command) can’t snap when things get tough. I feel this has been a big set back in my career and now that I’ve calmed down I feel foolish and regretful.
What’s the best way to rebuild trust with my boss and show that I can manage the leadership role?