I found out about two days ago, that a coworker/friend has been upset with me for months.
A few of us were planning to go out after work with our team so we asked [Joe] if he wanted to join us, but he declined. Our lead asked him to go as well, and he told the lead that he didn't think [Jim] (me) wanted him around.
[Joe] told the lead that it was because I used to invite him to lunch, but I don't anymore, and I am always planning things without him.
In hindsight, he has been increasingly cold to me, but I just attributed it to his personality.
- I used to invite him to lunch, but after the 5th time in a row he said no, I stopped asking.
- He has never invited me to lunch.
- I have never planned an event with coworkers without inviting him, so somehow he thinks I am planning things behind his back.
- I also found out that he has been mentioning this to other people, but no one has said anything to me until our work event.
What to do?
I have been going over my life with a fine toothed comb, trying to think of how I could have offended him, and nothing comes to mind.
Am I being overly sensitive? Should I just ignore him? Should I invite him to lunch everyday from now on? Should I make sure that he has a lunch buddy everyday and treat him like a child? Is there something else going on with him? Should I even care at all?
Should I attempt to "win" my friend back? Is he some kind of workplace sociopath looking for drama? Am I the sociopath?
This situation has me questioning reality, and I'm probably obsessing about more than I should, but I would appreciate any feedback.