I started my current role in IT right after college as an intern. In the interview I was told I would learn about Big Data and project management, but that was not the case. After the internship I was hired. I was flooded with administrative tasks, and was told that after a year or so I could check with him - my boss, for a programming job or to work with Big Data.
My boss loved bombed me the first year I was there. It almost felt at times like he was a little to into me. He gave me a gift card with a lot of money based on my good performance, would steal eye glances and try to hold eye contact for long periods of time, asked about my marriage, basic questions but would pass judgement when my answers included references to my husband. It felt a bit uncomfortable to be honest.
The entire time I was working I had difficulty with two top employees, not because I didn’t complete work or lacked understanding, but because I am very shy and would have issues communicating due to my shyness. It was really bad because they would talk down to me (in a condescending tone) and it made me stutter or I would sound very nervous. Eventually they started telling my boss I was incompetent, but I secretly think this is due to lack of communication skills because as I said this was all administrative work, and I had actually completed a very technical degree in Information Systems at a very good university.
Almost two years later, I finally got into working with big data. It was not easy for me to transition and it caused issues with the other employees. I have stayed in this role this long because my boss has led me to believe that I have promise for advancement in his department.
The issue now is that I have no credibility at work now. I exposed my shyness and lack of confidence and many people at work give me no credit or acknowledgement for the work I have performed. I had trouble with my first assignment with Big Data and told my boss. To my surprise he lashed out at me and told me I have a learning disability and that there is a bad pattern of poor work performance that others have complained to him about.
It was a terrible conversation with my boss. He even said that I’m not who he thought I was when he first hired me two years ago. I immediately started job hunting and suddenly my boss offered to pay for my Big Data training which is thousands of dollars, so even though the experience has been humiliating for me, I have decided to stay and finish my training and get more experience with Big Data.
My boss told me to leave my job if I was not happy, and that I have a learning disability. I never had a situation in my school career that made me feel like I have a cognitive disability. I am painfully shy and many at work have used it against me.
How can I re-establish credibility at work after being humiliated in such a way?