The teamlead kept talking to me about an upcoming project verbally since last December or January.
The project formal kick-off was on April.
When I was assigned a task, I started downloading the documents related to it.
I discovered that among the documents, there was the tender.
I read it, and I thought "I should have read this a long time ago, not now when the project has started" - It felt like I was reading an outdated document.
The project could be divided in two part: a part that I know of, and another one I know nothing of - there was no training or anything.
The leader was asking for my weekly progress, as he had meetings with managers and the customer.
I've never had any feedback nor was I ever CCed in any formal correspondance.
In June, I had a discussion with one of my friends to whom I told "I don't know what's happening in this project, all I have is estimations to do the tasks. I feel lost and I don't know really know what is going on".
Later on, I kept discovering that the leader progressed a lot with the project. He was involved with very technical stuff related to system environments prepared by the customer.
Then, after time passed, the leader was blocked in the weekend, so I went to help him.
He kept sharing with me links of applications related to the project - I was wondering why I've never seen these apps in any document or email?
Why had he never spoken of it with me? Why didn't he notify me?
He was communicating with the customer, and the latter shared with him all of these, on which he based his progress to complete the project.
I had many opportunities to complain about this leader. He cares so much about his image that I keep postponing my remarks, because I knew he would be bothered. He is "dangerous" too. He can communicate with managers and even vilify and they would even take his defense.
Now that the project is not doing well, some managers gave me a speech where they infer that I was the one to blame.
My thought was that I can't ask my boss to share something with me if I didn't know its existence.
I was neglected for many months, knowing that I was formally assigned to this project.
Should I have asked the leader to share with me the knowledge (we work for the same company and we are in the same team)?
Isn't it his job to share with me the knowledge ASAP?
I personally share all the knowledge needed as soon as I can with my colleagues, especially when I know they are formally working on a task.
I have a similar situation last year where I was excluded from a formal email and then the decision was communicated to me in a verbal manner (I am always excluded from important things in the project).
PS: this leader, at the end of a project last year, had a serious fight with his partner (they were very good friends). Is he looking for a new scapegoat?
I did a tremendous job last year but I was not rewarded as I should. Now I am demotivated hence the lack of interest and passiveness.
