4

I've been working with a coworker for about 6 months now and we have always had an awkward relationship. When I first worked there, whenever I asked a question she answered with an attitude like she thought I was dumb. (this is my first baking job) I caught her several times making an eye roll face. When we are alone working we rarely talk. I notice that she never asked me questions like how was your week or weekend. The only times she has talked to me jokingly was when there was another coworker there. For months I chalked it up to perhaps she's not a morning person. I thought that the longer we worked together our relationship would get better but it hasn't, if anything it has gotten worse. Worse enough that one morning she was mad that I didn't make a certain pie in the morning and a few hours later when our boss walked in she could feel the tension between us and asked what was wrong but we both didn't say anything. When my coworker was outside, my boss came to me and asked if something happened between her and I and I said no there was nothing. I would like to work there at least a year so I don't want quit yet but I'm just struggling to be cheerful in the workplace when my coworker's snappy attitude puts in not so great mood. I mentioned my problem with another coworker because she was going to leave soon and she told me that she has a problem with everyone. Another coworker told me that she was in a better mood one week and in my head I was thinking, that's the week I asked off.

Do you think I should mention something to my boss? I don't want her to get fired because I know she's a single parent and she's a great asset to the team and a hard worker, we just don't mesh together well.

  • 4
    @Myles the OP says it's their first baking job, not banking. – Player One Sep 3 '20 at 4:51
  • Upvote__ That explains "she was mad that I didn't make a certain pie in the morning", which really had me confused :-) – Mawg says reinstate Monica Sep 5 '20 at 8:58
10

I don't want her to get fired because I know she's a single parent and she's a great asset to the team and a hard worker, we just don't mesh together well.

Why would she be fired? Because she doesn't like you? Because you two don't get along? That's not how things work. If you don't get along then give her a wide berth and keep your interactions related to work and maintain your civility and professionalism.

You don't need to engage in chit-chat with her, you don't need to be friends with her, you don't have to engage in empty pleasantries. Maintain a professional work relationship and engage with her when it's needed in relation to your work.

  • 3
    On top of which, what if this great asset to the team is the person the boss is concerned about. You could lead to being let go yourself if you're seen as the disrupting influence. – Malisbad Sep 1 '20 at 6:30
8

Yes you should absolutely tell your boss what is going on so she can begin to observe for herself. If you don't get ahead of these types of situations they can come back and bite you. I speak from experience.

I once had a coworker who was threatened by me because I was hired to rewrite old software that he had written some years prior. He was much too busy day to day to spend the months it would take to rewrite the application. My plan was to do the conversion and leave. However he thought I was there to take his job.

For months he was in my bosses office behind my back blaming me for everything that went wrong that was IT related. I learned he was doing this but I chose to do nothing and let my work speak for itself. I assumed my boss was smart enough to know a tattletale when he saw one, guess not... After months of one sided bad mouthing. In the end I literally got fired for his mistakes. For something I never even touched.

I didn't want to seem like a snitch or a cry baby and bring this up to my boss so I took the high road. I thought I did the "right" thing by not stooping to his level. Yet I wound up without a job because of it. Make your boss aware. Sounds like she already sees that things aren't great.

4

Yes, you should tell your boss. She tried twice to ameliorate the situation--- let her. It is her shop and this tension is so obvious that even in silence she can discern something is wrong. From your boss's perspective, this hinders work so she has the prerogative to fix this.

Confide in your boss what you told us: that she is unpleasant to be around, but that you do not want her disciplined or fired.

3

I don't want her to get fired because I know she's a single parent and she's a great asset to the team and a hard worker, we just don't mesh together well.

Look at it this way, if you mentioning it to the boss gets her fired it's only because the boss has heard 20 other complaints and warned her multiple times. It's actually your co-worker's own fault if she is fired. Not yours.

Option 1: I personally wouldn't mention it to the boss before trying to fix things with the co-worker. Don't accuse her of anything. Just be friendly and show interest in her the way you believe she should show interest in you. I once worked with a guy who had a bad attitude (he wasn't rude to me however) and I took that approach. It was probably a good 5-6 months before he became friendly. I've worked with other people who took years. Not saying you need to go overboard or be excessive about it tho. Just a small word/polite greeting with a smile may grind down her anti-social surface.

Option 2: With people who aren't team players I give them what they want. When they need my help with something they're responsible for, I ignore them. It doesn't take long at all for them to figure out the pros of being a team player. If I'm waiting for them to do something I need to complete my job I make sure the boss is in the loop on the fact I can't do my work because I'm waiting for them. But I only state that basic fact. I don't get into anything emotional/personal.

Bottom line is, it's okay to have boundaries and you deserve to be treated with respect. But as others said try not to take it personally also. If she's angry it's most likely because she hates her life & it's easier to take it out on you than to deal with the problems in her life.

You must log in to answer this question.