Does this feedback to manager express what its supposed?

Question

I need to give feedback to a supervisor. I don't know if the way I wrote this clearly express what I want it to be, and also if its the best way to explain it.

• Situation: In my workplace there are two teams (a regional one, and a local one based on the worker's geography). There was a meeting where one of the workers said that in his local team no one helped him because people are "too competitive and focus on their own growth". My manager (regional team) mentioned that he does not recognise that behaviour and that here we are a team who supports each other.

I think it was a great example of leadership and I wanted to express that in my feedback to him. I wrote something like the below, but I am not totally convinced:

"Back in a meeting with AAA, BBB, and CCC (related to marketing); AAA commented that he felt that in his local team no one was supportive when he needed things because of "competition between colleagues". You replied that you don't know about that behaviour and that here we act like a team: sharing knowledge and supporting each other. I think it was a great example of leadership (that is as of today backed up with actions)"

Does this express what I want to say? Is there a better way to rephrase this in your opinion?

Thanks.

Answer 1

I can't exactly answer your question, because you use almost identical words to tell us what you experienced and then in the proposed email, and ask if it's accurate, and since I have no independent knowledge of the situation you're describing, I can't know how accurate it is.

However, I can still give you some advice. You're "burying the lede" by opening with a summary of something your manager already knows - who was at the meeting, what the local team member said, what your manager replied.

Instead lead with your gratitude. Or your admiration or whatever. I am not sure why you want to tell your manager "that was a great example of leadership." But start with that. For example:

I wanted to tell you how impressed I was by your leadership in [Tuesday's, or yesterday's, or the marketing -- use just one or two words here] meeting. When you talked about how our team supports each other, [I was so pleased and proud, or I completely agreed and was very glad to hear you say that, or whatever your reaction was -- 5 to 10 words here, no more.] It means a lot to me that [I am part of a team like this, or I have a manager who understands what a team is so well, or I have a manager who has created a supportive team spirit -- again, 5 to 10 words.]

Now you're focusing on what your manager did, not on a recap of what led to your manager doing that, and you're including your own reaction to that (which is not in your question but is presumably why you want to email your manager about it) and saying something they can reply to.

If it has been a long time since this meeting happened, it's probably better to wait for another opportunity to indicate how pleased you are with this manager than to have to wade through a whole lot of "remember that meeting 8 months ago with that other team where AAA said and then BBB said and then you said" because this is a pretty small moment and if there have been no others in all that time, it's kind of odd that you're providing this feedback about it now. I'm assuming it was very recent and your manager doesn't need any reminding.