I had the misfortune to be in a department with an IT Director who even though in public was acting normal behind close doors intentionally he acted in a very inappropriate way, some worse form of bullying.

I had a very bad experience were in one to one meeting, in my company start, I realized he was trying to pass me the message that if I don't act like none of the aforementioned is happening I will face consequences.

Right now I know that I should have left the company the exact moment this happened.

My question is, should I have gone first to the HR? Would it make any difference?

My experience so far is that the HR is only there to serve the bosses, most probably it would make it worse or maybe will try to justify his behavior, arrange a meeting where he would deny everything or even blaming me.

But is an HR Manager in a higher place to tackle this kind of situation? Hierarchy wise as well.


When I joined the company the manager made clear in a call that he asked the HR not to join his team. For a month he dodged me , he gave me no guidance or any kind of important help moreover he was absent for two weeks.

In the first month he arranged a meeting were he said my performance was not suffice and as he said there are other teams to go. All this situation end up in two weeks from there to an argument why is he avoiding helping me or giving me any sort of guidance by always finding excuses and speak in a rude way.

After two weeks from that incident the director called me in his office, which I presume was to talk about our job and tasks maybe. When the talk started he didn't give me any clue what this was all about, and his just asked me, "What is the problem?"

When I tried to understand by saying "I don't understand" he didn't reply, he just said the exact same words only trying me to open the conversation and make me realise what the situation was. When he saw that this conversation ended nowhere, he said if you have any issue you can tell me.

I said, that my manager sometimes speaks in a rude way and immediately he shut me down saying this is part of the job. The point of this conversation was to point that from now on you will do as I say, without arguing.

Meaning, overtimes which I already did, which he toned as a good change and later my vacation which they postpone it. Regardless to say that I was fired in few months, for performance as they said.

The HR never reached me to hear me or question this decision. They hand me over the firing papers along with a declaration that I won't demand anything from them.

  • 2
    I don't think anybody can answer this if you don't tell us what your IT director did that was wrong. (And what country you live in.)
    – TonyK
    Jan 11 at 21:23
  • @TonyK what in which country has to do with this? If you know how this things work, the other doesn't have to say much to imply that you are going to lose your job if you don't do as he says and never have to order you do something only suggest and not always in front of others. Jan 11 at 21:28
  • 3
    Calm down, giannis. Let us know what happened.
    – TonyK
    Jan 11 at 21:49
  • Can someone justify me the downvotes? I am starting feeling little strange sharing this? Jan 11 at 22:25
  • 1
    You haven't shared anything yet...
    – TonyK
    Jan 11 at 23:32

I'm going to disagree with the saying

HR is not your friend

And instead rephrase it as:

HR looks out for the best interests of the company

The difference is subtle, because if the actions of someone in your company (EG your IT director) could open up the company to a costly lawsuit, the it is in the best interests of the company to shut down that person. In this case the goals of HR would also align with your own goals.

Thus if you experience anything such as bullying by another employee or boss, or IT director, then you should go to HR. In addition you should always document the event, and what actions you have taken. Evidence over time will not be dismissed lightly by HR.

However if HR does dismiss your approaches then they have demonstrated that that they value your IT director over the consequences of a possible lawsuit. This in itself is good to know, as you now know where you stand within the company. In this case you start consulting with an employment lawyer so that you are prepared for the potential fallout of being fired, or quitting because of a hostile workplace.

  • thanks for the answer, didn't know hostile workplace as a term existed. Jan 11 at 21:32
  • @giannischristofakis I've sat through enough HR training videos in the US to know all about it. But I've also experienced it, and its not a nice thing
    – Peter M
    Jan 11 at 21:33
  • how can you possible sue in this kind of situation? Jan 12 at 16:25
  • @giannischristofakis That is going to depend on the labor laws in the country that this occurred. In the US it is considered employment discrimination and the company is liable if harassment is established. The best thing to do is consult an employment lawyer
    – Peter M
    Jan 12 at 16:31

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