I recently started a new job at a startup (1 month). When I had my first interview with my manager, things went extremely well. However, now that I’m on the job I am extremely unhappy.
My boss is constantly telling me to be more proactive and ask more questions. However, any time I ask a question, he never answers it directly. He feels the need to answer it and then point out how the answer was easily available via Google or some internal doc or simply that I should be more proactive about figuring it out myself. However, often times these things are blatantly incorrect: the answer isn’t available easily via Google, the internal doc he links is missing the information, etc.
Recently, we had a meeting and after he finished talking I said “that makes sense” to try to communicate that we were on the same page. He snapped and said: “don’t say that, that’s annoying.”
Often times, I feel like I’m the public punching bag for passive aggressive humor. Before meetings he’ll jokingly say things like, “Oh looks like we all better stop goofing around, right [my name]?” One time in a public meeting I made a statement and he said that it was “fucking stupid” in front of everyone.
Sometimes after the meeting my coworker will say that I shouldn’t worry about it and that they’re sorry about the situation. I don’t want to talk about my manager behind his back, but I’m not sure I made the right choice moving jobs. I turned down a higher paying promotion at my old job to work here because I thought the company was a lot cooler; however, I am now regretting it. I even had an old friend that used to have this same job say that this boss was one of the best bosses they’ve ever had, so I’m often questioning if I’m doing something wrong.
I’m torn about whether this situation is a common thing in companies with employees that put in tons of effort. Perhaps, my manager is just trying to get me to work harder? Perhaps, I’m being overly sensitive. Or perhaps I’m not and I should go talk to HR about it. Has anyone had a similar experience?