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I am an Indian female working in the IT sector, India.

Context:

During one of my conversations with a male team member, let's call him Paul, he cracked a filthy joke. Though I pretended to not understand, he constantly insisted that I have understood but pretending not to understand.

I have avoided Paul since that day; he tried to talk to me many a times later but I never responded to him. Later, he resorted to knocking on my table while I am working or at the cafeteria table when I am having my lunch. He was trying to gain my attention. It happened 3-4 times.

I had complained to the HR too but no action was taken against Paul and his knocking on the table continued. Later, I complained to a senior official in the office and he took care of the situation. And since that day, Paul minds his own business.

Problem:

When this colleague was knocking on the table at the cafeteria and obviously when I wasn't responding to him, there was another colleague, let's call him Jerry, standing opposite to us and watching the entire incident. Both of them happen to be good friends and when I wasn't responding, both of them looked at each other and started laughing, sarcastically.

Since that day, whenever Jerry passed by my desk, he would purposely stop, give me death stares and when I realize that someone is staring at me and look up, he leaves. He ensures that I have seen him giving me that senseless death stare.

This has happened approx. 5-6 times, not just in the office but even outside the office premises.

Office does have security cameras and each of Jerry's such activities are all recorded.

Jerry is not my team mate nor do we work in the same project. We work in the same office. Jerry has a naturally resting bitch face. At the same time, I am mature enough to understand the difference between a resting bitch face and a death stare.

I am unsure of how to narrate these set of incidents to the same senior. Paul reports to this senior; so it was handled pretty well. Jerry doesn't report to this senior. HR doesn't even seem to be bothered about it.

Whom should I even be reporting to? I want to ensure that Jerry doesn't continue this death-stare game at me.

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  • Can you clarify for others the status of "pervert" guy? It sounds like that situation got resolved and now you're wondering what to do with "jerk" guy. Is that the correct situation that you're trying to resolve? – Dan Mar 16 at 12:11
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    @Dan Yes. Pervert minds his own business now. But, Jerk still continues his death stare game. – WonderWoman Mar 16 at 12:15
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    Got it. My answer reflects that assumption. I'm not sure why this question is being downvoted as it is a legit question. – Dan Mar 16 at 12:54
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    @PeteW Yes. only 10% of the workforce constitutes women in this office. I am the only female in my project and rest of them are in other projects. We hardly speak to each other. I can still try talking to them about this Jerk. – WonderWoman Mar 17 at 16:31
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Office does have security cameras and each of Jerry's such activities are all recorded.

Is this something you know or you are guessing that because there are cameras around, it must have recorded something? If you have an actual video of him giving you a "death stare" and/or witnesses, then that is all you should need in regard to reporting him.

I am unsure of how to narrate these set of incidents to the same senior. Paul reports to this senior; so it was handled pretty well. Jerry doesn't report to this senior. HR doesn't even seem to be bothered about it.

Are you saying the "Paul" guy was reported on, and as such disciplined for his actions? If so, it would be best to bring up the "Jerry" guy as well to this senior to see what he can do about it. Perhaps he can bring the topic up to his senior person and resolve this situation for you.

Whom should I even be reporting to? I want to ensure that Jerry doesn't continue this death-stare game at me.

I would go to your senior and report it to him/her regarding this. See what happens from there. If you have video and a witness, it's going to be hard for them to ignore.

Keep in mind, and sad to say, I do believe India has a very poor harassment policy. I do not think there is a national law or if there is one, if it is enforced to any degree. So if your one manager already taken care of the "Paul" guy, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't report the "Jerry" guy to the same manager. Perhaps he can talk to his manager and hopefully resolve this to your favor.

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    It is the office surveillance cameras that I am referring to. – WonderWoman Mar 16 at 12:07

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