I guess my co-worker/team member is angry over me for few reasons and he is not providing updates or taking up tasks as before. Context is, my teammate and I were working in a project for more than two years and I consider him as my brother in one way. I am also leading the team and in one evening, I asked him updates on few of the tasks via skype. I have listed out the pending tasks with him and have asked

"When can I expect an update on the below tasks?"

I did not get any updates from him on these tasks. After this incident, my relation with him has changed completely. He was out sick for one week and I kind of feel that he is angry over me and is protesting by not working/progressing on any other tasks. I also do not want to take this up to my higher-ups as this person is really good and has good relation with everyone else in the team. Even today, his skype status shows him away for hours and no response from him too. I am not able to understand whether this behavior is due to me asking updates on the pending tasks or due to any other behavior.

And this is also affecting me to a great extent. I do not want to play the victim card here but I am afraid that my words are affecting others personally and I am in constantly evaluating each and every word that comes out from my mouth.

Basically, I am afraid to ask for updates from my team thinking that I may hurt them personally.

  • 6
    Have you talked with this teammate recently? Has anyone else? Are you sure this is about you and not just about something else that happened with him?
    – Erik
    Commented Jun 7, 2021 at 8:58
  • i have not talked with him.. i am scared that it would lead to more problems. Commented Jun 7, 2021 at 9:09
  • 1
    Asking for an update on a task isn’t usually anger-invoking. Whatever’s going on with him, it’s probably not your fault. Commented Jun 7, 2021 at 9:26
  • 1
    yeah. i should not stress myself out, i will try to talk with him and get things settled. Commented Jun 7, 2021 at 10:27

1 Answer 1


"When can i expect an update on the below tasks?"

I have received such messages from different guys in the past 20+ years. If this common question could make me anger, then I hate the whole world!

If you do not skip or miss some more information, then I would consider it should be something else to make him "unpredictable".

If I were you, I would just leave him one more message "Hey pal, you still OK? what happen? Tell me if you need help."

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