Coworker asking to borrow money in front of other people

Question

Summary: Can it be viewed as unprofessional/suspicious to hand small amounts of money to a colleague in an office setting?

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On two different occasions, when I was working in an office, two coworkers have asked to borrow money from me to get lunch. They didn't ask me to cover their lunch (which I consider to be much more acceptable). They asked to borrow money from me, with multiple people around. The reason that was given was "I forgot my wallet at home".

One of them had a family. I find it unusual that someone with a family at home wouldn't be able to pay their own lunch. In later interactions, he was quite arrogant and I found his other behavior rather strange.

I've always wondered how exactly this can be interpreted from a bystander's point of view. They see person A handing money to person B in an open office, but they don't know that the person A had asked to borrow it with the plan to repay the next day.

• Can it be interpreted as bribery or fraud?
• Would it be obvious that it's just a loan for lunch?
• Is there a possible ulterior motive being assessment of camaraderie / collegiality?
• Is this a trick or is it normal behavior?
• Are there specific rules against this behavior?
• Is this behavior acceptable?

Note: The situations occurred in Romania, but I'm curious how this is viewed in other countries, too.

Answer 1

Ninety nine times out of a hundred, a random person who saw money being handed off to someone else wouldn't think anything of it. There could be a variety of reason why this money is exchanging hands and the observer would have no way of knowing what the context was unless they asked one of the individuals to which they would either be told "Bob wanted to borrow some cash for his lunch today and he said he would pay me back." or "Don't be nosey." It would be a big leap of imagination to think there was anything sinister going on with that money being given. If it was for a bribe it wouldn't happen where people could see it.

Answer 2

A co-worker friend who has left a wallet at home might ask to borrow money. It's someone you know, and it's no big deal. People seeing that would probably not notice. But in that case, they always pay it back, or buy lunch for you the next time. Keeping close tabs isn't important if there is a back and forth that tends to balance out.

You said that you've only been in this job a short time. There are people who are simply moochers - they will ask for money from whoever, and they may or may not pay it back. If they are like that, they might ask you because you are new, and don't know yet to say no.

As pointed out in the comments, if it's a small amount and you have it, it might be ok to lend it, but never lend anything (to co-workers or anyone else) that you can't afford to never get back. And never lend anything if you're going to have hard feelings towards someone who doesn't pay it back. Because of those two points, it's often better to not lend to co-workers at all. Unless, of course, it's that first case, where it is a known friend who just left a wallet at home.

Answer 3

If it's from friends (people with good working relationships who pay you back) and the amount is something you can give without repercussions for you, then it's OK (in the Czech Republic).

Also: If you don't want to lend them money, then politely say no. You don't have to explain yourself and if pressed can either say some prepared white lie or tell them the truth - that you don't feel comfortable lending money to anyone. It is not about them, it is about lending money.

In European Union (and the Czech Republic especially) we live in an increasingly cash-less society.

I have not needed cash (aside from lunches with colleagues in some interesting hole-in-the-wall or ethnic-cuisine type of places that don't take cards) for about two years now, and as such have stopped regularly checking how much cash I have on me.

That has led to me occasionally asking (and sometimes being asked) to borrow cash to pay for lunch from my colleagues since I didn't have enough cash in my wallet.

I would like to add that I haven't just randomly asked "some random colleague" for money, but always asked my teammates and friends, and usually just paid them back by transferring money to their bank account.

(Possible immediately using instantaneous free money transfers from my bank account to theirs. They just generated a QR code with their payment information and the optional amount, I scanned it and sent it.)

Answer 4

Where I work this wouldn't be an issue.

People loan other money for small things like lunch, no problem. The employees where I work are actually trustworthy.

Answer 5

I concur with most answers that there is nothing wrong or suspicious in lending/borrowing a small amount of money in the office. In most cultures I'm familiar with. It just can range from "uncommon" to "ubiquitous" in different places.

So I'll address the "with audience" part, which hasn't been covered. If anything, making the transaction open and public makes it less suspicious and risky. There are witnesses. If I were in such a situation (I was, in fact, on several occasions), I would most likely "ask the audience" rather than anyone privately: "Hey, who could lend me $10 for lunch, I forgot my wallet? I'll return tomorrow!"

Being on the other side, you have an option to ask the person publicly to return the money (should they fail to do so), and at worst, you are buying the knowledge whom not to trust for everyone.

Answer 6

I don't think other people will think anything when they see you handing money over because people use cash to place bets or in the U.S. we have this thing where school kids sell things to support their school. The parents will offer those things for sell at work sometimes. Stuff like holiday candy for example.

I've known several types of people who always try to borrow money: 1.) Drug addicts (could be beer and not necessarily hardcore drugs). 2.) People who just are living outside of their means and trying to catch up. 3.) People who pretend not to have something so they can get "free" money from others. These people don't intend to pay anything back.

One guy kept borrowing small amounts of money every day. I guess I was subconsciously fed up with it because I slapped the quarter ($0.25) he asked for in his hand so hard that he never asked again.

Answer 7

Your post strikes me as odd for three reasons:

1. You "find it unusual that someone with a family at home wouldn't be able to pay their own lunch". That is, you assume they don't have sufficient funds to afford lunch. That thought would never occur to me here in Germany or in the U.S. for a colleague; the only people who cannot afford lunch are also homeless.

2. You wonder whether "this [is] a trick". I would never assume that from a colleague unless it's April first or there are prior weird experiences with that specific person, which you don't report.

3. You wonder whether handing them money "can be interpreted as bribery or fraud". That thought would also never occur to me in an office setting when I'd see a cash transfer. We are all colleagues who are friendly with each other. There is no need nor opportunity to bribe anybody.

To me it is astonishing that you are so suspicious (2.), and consequently assume that other people may be suspicious as well (3.). Is that common among Romanians? Is that perhaps the after-effect of a pathological dictator who employed a vast and powerful secret police?

Answer 8

If a bystander is so intrigued instead of assumptions they should ask the loaner "Hey can I ask you something personal?" If "Yes" - "I noticed you loaned person money, do you do this often?" If "No" - Move on and rid yourself of assumptions until otherwise fruitful.

Answer 9

For me in academia I would not hesitate. I myself tend to forget my wallet in the office all the time. Also, the fact that two people asked indicate that it is no big thing. Why they would not ask you to cover for your lunch? Maybe it means that they have to organize to meet you at the cafeteria check-out. Also it is much easier to remember and pay back twenty bucks than it is to pay $12.49.

In general, though the following holds:

1. I know my coworkers. Could be the new guy, but if you tell me the name in two months I would remember precisely who you are talking about.
2. It is not big money. Nothing that would really hurt me if lost. Nothing I would expect somebody to have bad intentions about; and if they do completely worth knowing their character.
3. I do trust my colleagues.

About the bribery: This may depend on the culture. Some countries consider it pretty normal to bribe. Some, many western ones in fact, would take it pretty badly if caught. Do you think you could bribe people around the office for a few bucks?

Ask yourself generally, how much you could trust your coworkers. If you leave 50 bucks lying on your office table for a few days, what are the chances that they 'disappear'?