My boss in my previous project, was not a good manager, in my opinion. She had very controlling nature. She would treat me like a school child and put her nose in each and every matter and work. She would demotivate everyone under her, by her nervy misbehavior now and then, but still she will fail giving responsibilities to her team, because she has to keep all control to herself, as a result will continue being nervy.
She used to also taunt me telling that she didn't do her Bachelors from a good university like me, because her parents didn't allow her to stay in hostel. And she will boast that she was the 1st girl throughout her studies and a gold medalist in her bachelor degree in college.
Also, I have noticed, she never selected a male member under her when interviews happen. She wouldn't even interview them. Always got girls in her team, probably because she already knew no guy will tolerate so much controlling.
I used to watch and listen all these silently, but I could see all her short comings because I had worked under many great and motivating managers before her.
All fine, but the problem is, now I suspect, I have imbibed many such bad habits from her unknowingly though I was very clearly able to see these were her shortcomings.
For example, recently two of my peers got into ego problem with me (at different places and situations). They just stabbed me and made me more or less cry. When I analysed the situation, I guessed, probably they felt I am controlling too much the shared work, in my own way, like a school teacher, and not giving them importance. But I never had problems with team members before. Yes, I had, in the sense that, some people took advantage of my innocense and rose up keeping me behind, but no one had any complaint about me. I used to always get feedback of being a very cooperative and nice team mate and boss. I also become nervy and full of tension with small small deliveries, as if I am always struggling to become 100% perfect and the best. It was never my nature before.
Also, I have taken admission to an university for my post-graduation, and when the result came out for a subject, to my surprise, I was counting how many people got better marks than me, and I was very sad that I didn't get the highest marks. This is not at all the old me! All I cared before, was how I learnt the subject, if I am able to apply it, and if I got a descent marks in exam.
This kind of new and extra insecurity and tension is causing health problem in me as well. I don't want to go all loose and stop all efforts either, but I am suspecting that I have become a narrow person like her now.
Please provide some suggestions on how to unlearn these bad habits.