10

We are relatively close, he's currently the head of the other team - I referred him to be my supervisor in one of our previous companies. Since then I had an other role that didn't work out, basically for my lack of "stakeholder management" skills, so at the moment I'm anxious about my own ability to keep a job. However, I really like this team and the current place seems excellent for lateral role changes, which I want to do in the next few years - this motivates me to stay.

For additional context, he almost left a few months ago too, but then he received a counter-offer - with this one, they couldn't have matched.

Is there anything that I need to be cautious of, or pro-active about, especially towards my current Head or the VP? I feel like I'm awful at judging situations like this, and I need an honest insight.

Improve this question
4
  • 20
    "he almost left a few months ago too, but then he received a counter-offer" <- 80% of people who accept a counter-offer leave in 6 months, nobody should be surprised he left (also, 87% of statistics are made up on the spot but it's not entirely untrue either).
    – Philip Kendall
    Commented Sep 2, 2021 at 7:35
  • 7
    @PhilipKendall, the problem with counter-offers is that you have to really follow through. This employer countered one external offer, but wouldn't counter another, so in the end the market decides. Also, employers often assume (evidence-free) that workers would prefer not to move, but once someone has prepared to move to a new job with novelty and better pay from the outset (and where the new employer values them enough to pay this money even to fresh recruits), it takes a huge premium above that offer (not just matching it) to settle them back into their familiar existing employment again.
    – Steve
    Commented Sep 2, 2021 at 8:56
  • @PhilipKendall yeah that's a pretty fair point too
    – db6
    Commented Sep 2, 2021 at 10:13
  • What exactly are you worried will happen? That they might fire you? If they make a habit of firing people who have a chance of leaving, that seems likely to be rather detrimental to retention. That they won't give you opportunities or raises or otherwise not treat you so well? That will only basically guarantee that you'll leave, in which case they may as well just fire you instead (if able), and this will also not achieve much, other than harming retention.
    – Bernhard Barker
    Commented Sep 2, 2021 at 18:35

2 Answers 2

Reset to default
30

Your position will not be at risk.

Your company increased your friend's salary recently so they clearly valued him. They hired you on his recommendation so also valued his judgement. While they may be disappointed that your friend is now leaving, that won't reflect on you.

Your employer may be worried about you leaving however

Your friend and you have moved jobs together a couple of times previously so there may be a chance that the company will be nervous about you leaving soon. At your next 1-1 (or equivalent) with your team leader, you could reassure them that you are happy in your role and looking forwards to many years at the company.

Improve this answer
8
  • 3
    Your position may be at risk, but only if you accepted it with the belief that not being fired for poor performance depended on your friend's nepotism. If you are capable of doing the job without that (possibly illegal and definitely immoral) assistance, you have nothing to worry about.
    – alephzero
    Commented Sep 2, 2021 at 17:22
  • 2
    @alephzero "definitely immoral" - can you expand on the idea of the immorality in this case?
    – Don Branson
    Commented Sep 2, 2021 at 20:58
  • 1
    @alephzero Can you expand on all of it actually? Nepotism normally refers to people that related in some way. These two seem to be just friends. And even if they were actual blood relatives and not just friends, can you explain how that would be illegal or immoral assuming the relationship was reasonably disclosed?
    – TimothyAWiseman
    Commented Sep 2, 2021 at 21:35
  • 1
    @TimothyAWiseman - I have always thought of nepotism wrt blood relations, but looked it up, and sure enough, it can be considered as between friends. I've never been at a company that used that definition, though. And how could they? It's untenable at best.
    – Don Branson
    Commented Sep 2, 2021 at 21:38
  • 1
    @DonBranson My suspicion is that is part of why most formal definitions do not consider nepotism by friendship. It would be impossible to define and some things that might fall within that broad definition of "nepotism" might be desirable. I have more than once referred a friend to a job opening. The employer tended to be very happy with the results. I've also had friends refer me to jobs in the past. If that is "nepotism" at all, it is a kind that we often find socially useful.
    – TimothyAWiseman
    Commented Sep 2, 2021 at 22:41
0

No one will judge you based on a friend that happens to be a coworker and is having their own situation with the company, in this case they are leaving. Providing you have performed, add value and are completely able to produce whatever results you are required to produce on your own. As long as you are your own person in how you perform and your performance is based on your individual actions and it wasn't or isn't contingent or based on your friends involvement or existence I the process. .

Improve this answer

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .