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I wasn't able to decide between 2 offers, and declined one. but after 4 days, i regreted and asked for it back. Manager was a bit confused, but he had me promise him that i join him this time. And told me "I took full responsibility before directors that you will join us, since we need a worker asap".

i agreed on his terms. But today i've received offer from my dream company with salary 40%+ more.

What should i do here? any tips please

That manager is Head Of Product Analytics, and i guess he has some connections in the industry. But at the same time i don't wanna pass on my opportuinity

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  • This question seems all to familiar of another question I read, one that like yourself, accepted a job offer then decided not to take it then switched their minds again. I suspect it was your question, since it's been deleted, I won't be able to find it.
    – Donald
    Sep 22, 2021 at 14:48
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    Downvoted this question because you should have the common sense and manners to see the consequences…
    – Solar Mike
    Sep 22, 2021 at 17:46
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    @SolarMike votes here are not about the "common sense" of OP, but about quality of the question
    – aaaaa says reinstate Monica
    Sep 22, 2021 at 19:32
  • @aaaaasaysreinstateMonica someone does not agree with you...
    – Solar Mike
    Sep 22, 2021 at 20:12
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    "How to decline an offer" is easy. The title of the question should be "should I go back on my word after asking for and receiving special attention in getting a job offer."
    – Tiger Guy
    Sep 22, 2021 at 23:12

4 Answers 4

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You say "sorry, I've changed my mind again". You burn any bridges you might have with that company, and their connections in the wider industry.

To answer the implicit question: no, you can't do this without burning bridges.

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    +1 not only will these bridges have been burned, they have will have been nuked from orbit, and that manager made to look like an ass.
    – Old_Lamplighter
    Sep 22, 2021 at 13:54
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    Exactly this. He's gone out of his way to accommodate you changing your mind (investing political capital to do so), you've given him your word that you'd done one then, and then you've almost immediately gone back on what you said without a strong reason. From their perspective this puts you in the "unreliable and untrustworthy" group - which may harm your future prospects if word travels in your industry.
    – Gh0stFish
    Sep 22, 2021 at 14:42
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    When you give your word, and accepting a job is your word, you should follow through. You are showing yourself to be immature and unreliable. In most professions it turns out that you run into the same people over and over again. If you establish yourself as such a person it WILL come back to bite you. Do what you said you were going to do or live with the consequences.
    – jwh20
    Sep 22, 2021 at 14:45
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Accept the offer, and start the job. Tell "dream company" you can't accept their offer because you already accepted a different one, but that you would like to stay in touch in case the first one doesn't work out.

Give it an honest effort for a while. You may like it. If you're unhappy after a few months, check in with "dream company."

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You write “how to decline offer twice?”, but really that’s a misleading phrasing that skirts around a crucial issue. What you are actually asking is “how to break a promise I made?”

When put this way, the answer is:

  1. Don’t. The professional, mature way to handle things is not to break solemn promises you’re making to other people in a situation where they make it clear to you that your trustworthiness is of great importance. Ever.

  2. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you will be tempted to break a promise. (Well, it’s too late for that, but a lesson to learn for the future.)

  3. If you do break a promise after confronting the reality that that’s what you’re doing, do so knowing that this is Bad Behavior and that the person on the receiving end of your behavior is going to be, rightly, very upset with you. There aren’t any magic words or formula that would make them magically not upset, or even less upset. Because it’s the behavior itself that’s making them upset, not the “how” of you declining the offer a second time. As others said, this bridge will be nuked forever. Is it worth it? That’s for you to decide.

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    +1 It's ok to change your mind once. Twice is a different story. I am not sure why this was downvoted, it's a perfectly good answer.
    – Captain Emacs
    Sep 22, 2021 at 23:26
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Under normal circumstances I would agree with Theodore and say to tell "dream company" sorry and take the offer you promised. However, a 40% better salary is nothing to sneeze at. At that level, it might be worth burning your bridges with this company. You may want to look into how much your role pays locally and see if this company is underpaying you or if "dream company" is overpaying. If this company is underpaying, and they are desperate for staff to the point that they were prepared to give you the offer a second time, chances are pretty good this company just sucks and you're dodging a bullet by dropping their offer.

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