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From the young age , I had to study the same passage repeatedly than others and I had to revise what I read more than others and I always had difficulty paying attention in class.

But while working I got fired from couple of contract jobs and this made me wonder what exactly is happening and I had to take stock of the things and I had sessions with therapist and did my own research turns out that I have below things

  • ADHD ( Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder )
  • EFD ( Executive Function Disorder )
  • Anxiety disorder

Because I'm falling short of my own expectation , it's causing me to be anxious always and I've messed my relations with colleagues and beg a lot for the acceptance.

It has become toxic cycle which puts me into working hard mode always but less appreciation etc.. I lost my contract job couple of days ago with no explanation , as per me I did the job well but somehow the perception of me or how I carry forward or how anxiously talk or how I don't mingle keep on costing me jobs.

I don't want to mess up my next opportunity. Kindly give me good suggestions or advise to have a successful career despite all this issues.

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    Sorry to hear about your situation. You mentioned you had sessions with a therapist. Have you continued to see any therapist, psychologist, or medical doctor who can help you out ? I guess these professionals can be helpful. In addition, some people say that practicing meditation helps them to be calmer and more mindful (focus better) on the jobs at hand. If you are interested in meditation, you can first google and find some books or videos on the internet, and then further down the line, you can find meditation groups or instructors in your city, etc.. Best of luck. Commented Jan 27, 2022 at 8:07
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    When you say you "had sessions with a therapist and did your own research", did that include a formal diagnosis? Commented Jan 27, 2022 at 10:10
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    Depending on your location, there may be a worker status covering ADHD. In my locale, when someone is employed with this special status, the company has an obligation to provide accomodations for the employee according to their needs (the company gets tax reductions in exchange). You'd need to have an official diagnosis for that though.
    – Aserre
    Commented Jan 27, 2022 at 13:58
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    You didn't specify where in the world you are but in many places there are protections for those dealing with disabilities. Have you looked into these? If you are in the US you might look here: ada.gov/employment.htm
    – jwh20
    Commented Jan 27, 2022 at 15:45
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    I have a friend with adhd and he learned how to use this to hes advantage. He worked 18 hours every day. Now he have a successfull life, good money, nice car and house. So dont give up because you have something some people might consider negativly.
    – Mr Zach
    Commented Feb 13, 2022 at 14:51

2 Answers 2

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Your best recourse is to find an industry/job/career that suits your temperament. That makes it easy by conforming the work to you rather than you conforming to the work.

When I was a forestry worker I met guys out there who had university degrees, yet they were planting trees with me. Not because they couldn't find jobs, but because they didn't suit them for some reason. I know a scientist who moved furniture for a decade, another chap who builds scaffolds.

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    Great suggestion. I like the second paragraph. Work-Life balance, personal happiness, and career goals are all equally important. Commented Jan 27, 2022 at 8:00
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    Great advice to look for jobs that might accommodate/suit the OP better in regards to their diagnose!
    – iLuvLogix
    Commented Jan 27, 2022 at 10:51
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    Thanks for taking time to answer and sorry for late reply. I'm into software development and I can't move to any other field as I had taken huge loan to build my house and I must work 10 years in the IT field to finish off this loan and so switching the field is not an option for me now.
    – Amogam
    Commented Feb 13, 2022 at 13:02
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    @Amogam up to you, from experience there is always a way. I made more money in forestry than I did as a manager.
    – Kilisi
    Commented Feb 13, 2022 at 13:09
  • @Kilisi - I understand but I'm from India here making money is very hard if not we inherit big asset or we work in IT or Medicine besides that I can not afford to miss my monthly EMI which would be very high than starting salary of any new job other than IT. I would like somehow improve and handle to adapt to this profession.
    – Amogam
    Commented Feb 13, 2022 at 13:41
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+25

Actively Take Ownership of Your Mental Health

To qualify myself, I have ADHD and have probably had it since I was a kid. I've been fired twice due to the manner by which the executive function issues impact me being able to perform my work. I've also changed jobs a least twice when I knew that things were going south because of the impacts of my executive function. The financial impacts of these multiple job changes were significant and difficult to quantify as anything other than 'a lot'.

My current situation is A LOT more stable because when I knew my first kid was on the way, I recognized that I needed to stop treating my mental health as some kind of fun novelty that works for me only sometimes because going forward if I kept screwing up, it meant far more than just having a major impact on myself and my wife. I'd like to say that knowing of the negative impacts for my wife were enough, but unfortunately it wasn't.

Due to me taking ownership of my ADHD, I have been with the same company for 4 years and am probably on track to get promoted soon.


Ok, enough of that crap.

Here are your steps going forward. I'm bulleting them because that helps me read things so it'll probably help you too:

  1. GET ON MEDICATION!!!!

I am not joking about this. If you've seen a therapist and been diagnosed, proceed with the next step and get yourself on stimulant medications so that your symptoms are at a manageable level. If you do not get on medications, everything else will be either much harder or impossible for you to complete effectively.

You indicated on Kilisi's answer that you're in India, so I cannot advise you on what steps need to be completed to be prescribed stimulants (in the US it is a real pain in the neck), but whatever they are, work closely with your therapist so that they're completed.

  1. Continue therapy

Therapy is about a lot more than just coming up with a diagnosis. You have to be able to live with yourself and be happy. Executive function and anxiety aren't really diagnoses, they're symptoms of your ADHD. Talking through your feelings with a therapist can help you to sort your thoughts and most importantly develop coping strategies for getting through the day. Speaking of which...

  1. Develop coping strategies

These are some of my strategies that I use to help myself everyday. They may work for you, they may not:

  • Weekly project list. On a weekly basis (or at least I try for weekly), I write out every single project I'm responsible for and what tasks need to be done.
  • Daily to-do list. It may sound dumb, but I often can't process my weekly project list very well (mostly because it's too long), so I try to make a shorter one so that I stay on track each day.
  • Use colors. If I write my notes in all blue or all black and then need to go back and review them, I often find I get easily distracted. In response to this, I bought a pack of 6 different pen colors and created a system for what colors to use and when. For example, most notes are written in blue; if something's urgent, I write it in red; project names and headers I write in purple; people's names I write in a turquoise color; if a project has a financial issue of some kind I write it in yellow; and if something is important needs to be done soonish I write it in orange. The orange ones I usually pull into the daily to-do lists.
  • Use timers. I keep a kitchen timer on my desk to let me know when 4 hours has passed so that I don't forget to eat lunch. I also sometimes break it into 1 hour blocks so that I make it a point to get up and walk around a little. This often depends on what the task is, but if I have gotten myself to hyperfocus then I will often shut off my timers so that I can crank out a ton of production.
  • No lists longer than 5 items. Folks with ADHD often have less short-term memory capacity, myself included. If your lists are getting too long, you're probably putting too much onto yourself and underestimating what you really need to do.
  1. Be Kind To Yourself. It's unfortunate, but the modern world isn't very conducive to neurodivergent folks and it is super easy get depressed after a bad ADHD day. Be mindful though that you are neurodivergent and possess a superpower that's just difficult to wield correctly. If you have the energy, there's a great Youtube channel called How to ADHD that can teach you a little bit more about other coping techniques as well as help you to develop vocabulary that can assist with understanding why you may be feeling the way you are.

  2. Don't forget your meds I'm repeating because it's important. Get a weekly pill caddy to help you be sure that, yes you took your meds today.


I'm definitely answering this instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing, but please feel free to tag me if you have more questions. I will be happy to try and help.

I don't want to overwhelm you with things to focus on, but if you're feeling able to take on a few more things, DanK has some good additions as well.

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    Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been moved to chat.
    – motosubatsu
    Commented Feb 22, 2022 at 14:36

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