I'm a student set to graduate with my bachelor's this June and could use some input on an opportunity.

I've been introduced to someone at a small startup that is hiring and likes to hire new grads. He's a software engineer, not a hiring manager, but it's a small company.

The issue is that the nature of the introduction makes it difficult for me to know how formal to be and what to do.

While I've never met the contact, he is the husband of my best friend's wife's best friend. I've never met him, but I've hung out with his wife on several occasions, including having her to my family's place at Christmas (pre-COVID of course).

My best friend is the one who put us in contact via email. She checked if he was interested first, and his response was "F*** yeah!" except he didn't sensor the curse word. Obviously, this is pretty informal - but this is in his email to her, not me.

If this was a purely professional connection, I would send a cover letter and resume, if this was an immediate friend, I would be casual and just admit that I have no idea how to proceed with this type of introduction. But since it's a weird in-between of formal and informal, I have no idea how formal to be and what precisely I should be saying/providing.

Any advice is appreciated!

  • Good question @JoeStrazzere ! In this case, it means that my friend emailed him letting him know a little about me and asked if he would be interested in communicating with me. He said "F yes". Then she sent an email to him and I, introducing us to each other. The goal being we start our own email thread from there. Now I'm trying to figure out how to branch off of that. Does that help?
    – R558
    Jan 31, 2022 at 0:49
  • 2
    This REALLY needs a country/location tag. Protocol & formality of introductions is varies MASSIVELY with culture. Silicon Valley is different from Japan.
    – Hilmar
    Jan 31, 2022 at 13:03

1 Answer 1


If in doubt, err on the side of professional. You have never met that person, so you should communicate like that. be polite and professional in tone. If the culture at that startup is not formal, he will tell you the expected tone after that first communication.

Handle it like a normal application. Send your cover letter and resume. Don't put too much weight on the "hey, I know your wife!". Its not relevant.

  • This is as perfect as an answer gets! Nicely done. Feb 1, 2022 at 21:51

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