Should you refuse to participate in weekly meetings, because of a toxic member? I have a person who keep harassing me and insulting me. The individual has been warned multiple times for his disruptive behavior, but he keeps doing it and the person leading these weekly meetings just remind the same thing over and over again for three days even though he keeps doing the same thing. Is this ground to refuse to attend a weekly meeting? Four people have complained about his toxic behavior, and he wasn't fired yet, which makes him think this is completely acceptable.
It's time for action, but refusal is the wrong way to go.
You all have the right to work without harassment. If he has continued to behave offensively despite multiple warnings, and many people are in agreement, then it's time to exclude him from the meeting. All of you who feel this way should go to the organizer of the meeting and demand he is excluded so you can work in a safe environment. The more people you can get to join on on this the better. If the organizer doesn't do this, all of you go to HR and make the same demand. If the argument is "he can't do his work without being at the meeting" - well he should have thought of that before making it a hostile environment. The organizer can email him the notes after the meeting.
These demands may take a few days to be processed. Only if nothing at all is done after that should you refuse to attend, and you will need to get a lot of you to all refuse.
By the way, if your company is even half decent this guy's firing is probably in process. Sometimes these things take time, no matter how clear cut the case is. Don't despair - the end may be in sight.
I agree with the accepted answer, but I would like to add - document, document, document. A paper trail is necessary to terminate a problematic employee. Also, it is easy for managers/HR to ignore a few "Hey, this person is being rude" comments. It is much harder to ignore documented, repeated harassment from multiple employees. I am not a lawyer (IANAL), but depending on the country you may have a case for a lawsuit if they do. Harassment doesn't have to be sexist or racist to be a crime.
If the abuse and harassment is significant enough for you to be concerned about your mental well-being, sure. Obviously you should let you manager know that you can't attend due to the impact it's having on you.
But generally no, you should not stop doing your job because someone else is acting unprofessional.
If someone is acting in an unprofessional manner, you should follow whatever the complaints procedure is at your company.
After following the complaints procedure, if there is no improvement, you could consider escalating.
I don't think you should refuse going to the weekly meetings. The reason is that your boss may misunderstand that the reason you do not attend the meeting could be that you are not a team player, or do not show enough respect for him or the team lead, or are no longer interested in the projects.
I understand you are in a tough situation because of that toxic member. It is horrible to be in this environment.
But, if you can try to ignore that member long enough, the managers will eventually get tired of the toxic member and let him/her go.
Maybe, you should start notifying your manager or HR about this disruptive behavior when someone is insulting or bullying coworkers.
Unless this person is preventing you from doing your job, you have to do your job, however unpleasant (so long as it's not dangerous). You will have to either trust management, HR, and the company to restore the environment back to a pleasurable state, or look for a different environment.
Taking your own actions towards making the environment better is always a good idea, but I'm guessing you already tried this without success.
That said, joining a meeting is very rarely your job. Your actual job is coordinating with your teammates to achieve the goals that you need to achieve, and achieve them. If you feel that coordinating with your teammates would be better done through a meeting where this person is not present, then by all means schedule a separate meeting.
If you need to coordinate with this person, try to do so over email, where it's much easier to ignore the unwanted comments (plus, paper trail!). But all in all, get clear (with management if necessary) on what your job is, and do your job.
By the way, this is not malicious compliance. This is understanding what value you bring to the company and the reason they're paying you. If some activities prevent you from bringing that value, modify those activities in a way that allows you to bring that value. This is as true for an abusive colleague as it is for a tool like Google Meet not working. Sure, Google Meet won't complain to HR that you're not involving it, but if this person's complaints affect you in any way, then you don't want to be in that company.