How should I tell my colleagues that my family name comes first?

Question

As someone from a culture in which the given name comes last and the family name comes first, it was always difficult for me to figure out how to correctly specify my name in an email.

For example, say my name is 'Xu Gildong', where Xu is my family name and Gildong is my given name. If I sign my email like this:

Sincerely

Xu Gildong

then the recipient would address me as "Mr. Gildong" in his/her reply. This brings an awkward situation where I may have to correct the sender that Xu is my correct surname.

An alternative is to sign my name according to the Western¹ order, like:

Sincerely

Gildong Xu

but one cannot help but desire to sign their name in its correct order.

Is there any clever way I can (perhaps implicitly) state the fact that the surname comes first in my signature?

¹Forgive my generalization for the sake of simplicity. That statement is not necessarily correct since Hungarian names also follow the 'Eastern order' of names.

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I found a highly relevant question. The answers are very thoughtful, yet they do not solve the problem completely to me for the following reasons.

Solution 1: adding 'Please call me [my given name]' in a message.

Of course, this is the most direct approach to my problem. However, I am worried that this solution is not applicable to every situation, especially where the email exchange is in a very formal setting.

Solution 2: Use capital letters for my surname.

Indeed, signing 'XU Gildong' would help other people recognize that my family name is XU. I have tried this, but people seemed to believe that the two-consecutive-capitals were just a typo, not a way to specify my family name.

(User edit: OP specified that their family name was only 2 letters long, so I chose an Asian 2-letter-long family name to make the problem easier to understand; the question read fairly awkwardly and I think a lot of answers were missing a large part of the problem because of this)

Answer 1

Companies that are serious about collecting/knowing the names of their customers and addressing them properly in correspondence have already encountered this problem and established a best practice: Rather than to assume English convention that the first name is the given name and the last name is the family name (if family names are even used; see e.g. Icelandic names), and thus ask for first name, last name, and any middle names, the accepted way of handling this question in forms (such as when users sign up to use a website and must provide their name) is to simply ask for full name and preferred name of address, regardless of whether the preferred name is even part of the full name. For example, Hank Green of the Vlogbrothers, if signing up to a service that required his full legal name, would specify full name as "William Henry Green" and preferred name as "Hank".

As such, I would effectively carry this practice over to email/letter writing and provide the same two pieces of information in your valediction, in whatever format you please, e.g.

Sincerely,
Hong Gildong
(Preferred/given name: Gildong)

Answer 2

Just one more suggestion I don’t see mentioned. Sign your email with the name you’d like people to call you and put your full name below.

Best wishes,
Mr. Hong
———-
Hong Gildong
Director of Cultural Affairs
Hong Industries

Answer 3

The shortest email footer or closing which could help, if the common case you find is people writing back to "mister FirstName", might be this:

...[message]...
Thank you,
Hong Gildong
("Mr. Hong")

People used to assembling "Mr." to what they assume are last names will (if they read this line) likely figure out what you want quickly, and it should not come across as rude at all.

Some people may still think Hong is your first name and you wish to be called "Mister FirstName", but even in that case they'll be getting it right if they use your example, they'll likely know they should not be using "Mister Gildong", and if/when they ask about your name, the explanation should be quicker and simpler.

Answer 4

As a Hungarian whose language also suffers from the same problem, the convention is that we sign in the order of the language the email is written. Not only is this reasonable, but it's the least confusing way. I reccommend you to do the same.

So if I write an email in Hungarian, I sign it as

... [Hungarian text]

Köszönöm,

Nagy Gergely

But if I write it in English (or any western-ordered language), then

... [English text]

Thanks,

Gergely Nagy

In Rome, behave like Romans. Any other option would be confusing, and would involve the need for a clumsy explanation (either in the email or the signature) that only adds to the clutter, and isn't related to the topic of the email at all.

Don't make a big deal of it unless explicitly needed (like in an application).

Answer 5

Use a comma:

Yours Sincerely,
Bond, James

The comma typically implies that the first name is the surname.

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PS. Having said that, I would only do this in such 'placeholder' situations (i.e. in letters and forms), not in the middle of a spoken sentence. I.e. I wouldn't say "my names is Bond, James." as it feels unnatural (which is why James Bond always goes "Bond, James Bond").

Answer 6

If for whatever reason you aren't willing to adopt Western name order, and if you are writing emails, I would suggest putting an explanatory note in the signature.

For example:

Regards,
Neumann Janos
(Janos is my first name, see Hungarian names)

I can't see any other way the problem would be tackled.

Answer 7

Could you not just actually write that in an email footer that's automatically applied to every email you send (or emails you choose to attach it to)? That seems to me like it would be both clear and polite; no need to try to imply it. You can just tell people. By making it an obviously standard email footer, you're also not telling any one specific person, so nobody feels like they're being corrected specifically.

Something that would look like (with substituted correct terms in the angle-bracket parts):

Sincerely

Hong Gildong

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"Hong" is my <family name / surname>, and Gildong is my < given > name. In < culture >, names are written with the <family name / surname> leading.

Answer 8

I strongly agree with AffableAmber's answer but would like to add one additional note: I'm going to make the maybe somewhat controversial claim that in an American workplace environment,

Sincerely,

Hong Gildong

Is almost always the wrong way to sign your email.

It is usually the case in American workplaces that people address each other by first names, but this is not always true. Depending on the environment, profession, and nature of your relationship, a title and family name may be the more appropriate form of address. Unfortunately, this means that what is correct can be hard to know, and as such you should always sign your email in the way you would like to be addressed by the recipient of the email.

This means that you should be choosing between one of "Gildong," "Mr. Hong," "Dr. Hong," etc. Which one you choose might depend on the person you are sending the email to - that is normal and expected. It would be unusual for anyone to address you by your full name, and so you should not sign your email with it either.

If you would still like to include your full name in the email somewhere (which is totally reasonable) you can include it in the full signature at the end as AffableAmber suggested, ideally also including your title and pronouns (if appropriate for your culture).

Answer 9

Just correct them if you feel the need. There is nothing wrong with that.

I would actually find it strange for anyone to address me as Mr. Lastname in an email. So I'm not sure what sort of people you're dealing with, most people are well aware of the Eastern name conventions.

But at the end of the day you give leeway to people who're not part of your culture and it makes no sense to make any drama about things like this.

Answer 10

Perhaps:

Sincerely,

Gildong

(Hong Gildong)

Though I note that a similar answer was already suggested in the previous question that you reference, so I'm not sure if you've already considered that approach and found it lacking.

Answer 11

When you know your correspondent pretty well, you can use your preferred order, which feels natural to you. However, when you are writing to a new acquaintance, in English, it is advisable to follow the standard format used in English-speaking countries. If your email to the new acquaintance calls too much attention to an unusual way of formatting a name, that could detract from the actual content of the email.

Answer 12

Indeed, signing 'HONG Gildong' would help recognize other people that my last name is HONG

Capitalizing the last name is the norm in France and, as weird as it may look the first time, it helps immensely. We have plenty of people called Pierre Paul and it would be up to the reader to guess which one is the first and last name. Pierre PAUL solves the issue.

I made an answer instead of comment because of the order of your example (HONG Gildong).

At least in Europe, it is more common first to list the first name, and then the last name. If you are writing for this population, it would be helpful to sign as Gildong HONG instead.

Not only does it keep the natural sequencing, but people will expect the last name (even an exotic one, from the perspective) in the second bit. This hold for two letters surnames: Gildong ZU would not be surprising.

Answer 13

You could get inspiration from what is done in bibliographies of scientific papers where both variants are used depending on the journal/conference style.

Hong G.

or

G. Hong

In both cases, I believe everybody will understand that Hong is your last name.

Answer 14

It's not uncommon for English-speaking people to use their second name as their given name. In this case their email signature would generally say something like

• Name: P J Smith
• Given name: John

This works equally well for the alternative naming convention

• Name: Lee J
• Given name: Jun-fan

It's not uncommon too for people in some cultures to adopt an English given name, in addition to their name in their own language. Stating a given name explicitly solves this too.

• Name: Lee J
• Given name: Bruce

Answer 15

Let me comment on two things.

First, there are two different but related issues:

• convey the structure of your full name; i.e., which part of your full name is your family name, and which is your given or "personal" name [and I think some names have other parts, such as "generational name", but I do not know much about that; some people can be referred to including the name of their father, but that's not really part of their name; and so on];
• convey how you want/would like/expect to be addressed, in writing and/or when spoken to.

Adding a note/PS explaining the structure of your name solves the first issue (and I find it very useful) but does not solve the second issue. As noted in other answers, some cultures/contexts tend to use given name, others full name.

Lastly, in some cultures/contexts/professions, particularly when status/position is asymmetric, one signs "Gonzalez", or even simply "Roberto", but it is expected/customary to address such person as "Dr. Gonzalez", while asking to be called that would be utterly un-humble/immodest. So, YMMV. :-)

Update: Here are some links describing the wonderful world of possibilities in people names:

• https://www.w3.org/International/questions/qa-personal-names
• https://www.w3.org/International/wiki/Personal_names
• https://shinesolutions.com/2018/01/08/falsehoods-programmers-believe-about-names-with-examples/

Also, if your name is natively written in hanzi/hanja/kanji, hangul, pinyin, etc., consider also adding it to convey that your name is "different from usual" and expectations may not be met.

Answer 16

The problem causing the confusion is that your family name / given name are not in the usual order (where the given name is usually first and the family name comes last), with the added problem that people cannot look at the names and figure out which is family and which is given name.

Stop referring to "first name, last name". In your case, give your name in the way that is correct for you, and then tell people that your family name is "Hong".

Your company phone directory should list you under the letter H, together with everyone else whose family name starts with "H". I would address you formally as "Mr. Hong". If you were in the military, you would be addressed less politely as "Hong". If we were very familiar, I'd write "Hi Gildong, how was your weekend?".

But don't say "My first name is my last name". That's just confusing and doesn't make any sense. "My first name is my family name" makes sense.

Answer 17

As other suggested I would add to my email client a preformatted signature or I woud use a mail template with a preformatted beginning like:

Hi, this is Gildong (Hong Gildong)

But apart from that if you find yourself in an awkward situation ignore it, don't try to correct all the persons you are in touch with. I worked in many places with workers from different nationalities and this confusing calls happened quite often, but they did no damage. For short term contacts it didn't matter if they called someone by name or surname. For long term contact sooner or later people will find out the correct name and surname. When it happened in our office we just laughed it off.

Answer 18

This is a situation where, with diversity comes friction. Sometimes its welcome, but in this case its just an unneccessary hassle. Unless for you it is worth the hassle, then the workarounds as proposed by other answers are for you.

• Bond, James
• (FamilyName: Xu)

The most easy way to get around this is conform where appropriate/possible. Melting pot, the culture here is english and the english convention is FirstName followed by Lastname. Determine which is more important, conformity to the lands and language of the workplace or explaining the order of your name everytime.

Answer 19

British English already has a similar situation with members of the peerage, who are referred to only as ‘Lord <family name>’.  (Including a given name would indicate a younger son of a lord, not a lord himself.  The full rules are of course complex, but don't matter here.)

If there's a need to disambiguate, the common practice seems to be to give their full name before or after the official name, e.g. ‘The Lord Bragg, Melvyn Bragg’ or ‘David Cameron, Baron Cameron of Chipping Norton’.

So if OP wanted to be referred to by their family name, then it would be very clear to sign off with e.g.:

Sincerely

Xu Gildong
(Mr Xu)

If OP wanted to go by their given name, then there doesn't seem to be a similarly clear alternative.  I'd suggest using quotes to help, e.g.:

Sincerely

Xu Gildong
(‘Gildong’)

In either case, giving an example of the preferred usage seems more helpful than just describing it.