When doing conversations about critical feedback to others the approach that I know is optimal and most books recommend is using a tentative language, state the point in a factual and non justmental way, ask the other person's perspective and if there is some other explanation that they know and we don't.
Usually this works well, but I have encountered a particular case where it does not.
What happens is that an input such as the following:
I have noticed that X happened on these specific occasions with Y impact. This makes me think that there is the possibility that you might not be paying attention to important details of the work assignment but I could be wrong. I am interested in hearing your perspective on this. Am I missing something perhaps?
What happens is that the person condences it to "you are not paying attention" and the whole context is discarded. The person actually said to someone else that I literally said "you are not paying attention".
I was wondering if others have encountered this kind of reaction and if I am doing something wrong