How do you handle an overly polite candidate during the interview?

Question

I am the hiring manager and I have the 2nd round and final interview of a candidate, who is overly polite. For every question I asked he always responded with "thank you" at the beginning and the end of his words, among other things, he strikes me as too polite!

Of course I understand he was a bit nervous so I tried to reassure him that "oh you don't need to thank me every time. Just discuss with me like how you discuss with your colleague or your former boss if you like." He acknowledged that (with a "thank you") but continued doing that. I also try not to let this cloud my judgement. I invited him for the 2nd interview but he still behaves like that.

One of concerns I have if he is really that polite in the real life? If he is then he probably won't be easy to blend in my team. We are a software development team and we value Linus Torvalds's words "Talk is cheap. Show me the code." (this is not to say we don't like discussion or we can't have polite discussions). And if he is not then this is not a good sign. So either way it is somewhat a red flag to me.

The other concern, is as this article "Science Says You Need To Be Wary Of Overly Polite People, Here’s Why" and several articles said, which is inline with my own experience.

The Annual Meeting of the Association for Computational Linguistics in Beijing (AMACL) just released their findings that those who are “excessively polite” are considerably more likely to betray peers or comrades than those who are not effusively polite. The researchers at AMACL engaged in an in-depth study of Diplomacy, a strategy-oriented game in which players simulate pre-WWI Europe.

I know this is just one article, not a hard rule. And of course I won't worry about "betray". I am concerned about the candidate is hiding something and shows a quality he/she doesn't really have.

I can't tell whether he is genuinely that way or not. If not, is this a red flag? How will you handle it?

Answer 1

This is not red flag to me.

I have never heard of a hiring manager rejecting a candidate because the candidate is overly polite. I hope that you would not be the first one.

I would much rather work with an overly polite coworker than an overly rude one.

He may be overly polite due to some reasons such as:

1. He comes from an overly polite family where his parents teach him to behave this way since he was a kid. Maybe, you are many years his senior, have more experiences, and are in the position of "hiring authority". So, perhaps, he just wants to show respect to you according to his family's teaching.
2. Some people simply have a habit of saying or doing things in a repeated manner without even recognizing it. They do not mean any harm, but they do not realize that their behaviors may get some unexpected attention or may cause some distractions.
3. Could this case be either bordering or slightly "on-the-spectrum" ? Some people with a mild form of autistic behaviors are actually very intelligent and usually do a great job at work.

Answer 2

Personally, I'd regard it as a verbal tic, not of much consequence, particularly given the artificial environment of an interview. Note that you say "show me the code", but here your are focusing on their style of spoken expression, and you don't even mention the quality of their code. It makes it seem like you are actually treating code quality as a secondary consideration. They've shown you some code haven't they? Was it great? Passable? Not acceptable?

You are also seem to be trying to bolster you pre-existing beliefs with references to a single scientific paper. In fact, you don't even really refer to the paper, just to a popular summary of it. Have your heard of confirmation bias? It's fine to have your own impressions of human behavior, but have you really made an honest study of this, or did the paper just make an impression on you because it seemed to agree with your existing beliefs?

Answer 3

Unless the politeness is causing a communication barrier, I do not see this as a red flag.

TL;DR - Learn to accept cultural differences. Being polite is a positive, not a red flag.

Cultural dexterity plays a big role in becoming a successful leader. Instead of having the mindset "he probably won't be easy to blend in my team", try to think "what we can do that he feels welcome and we can accommodate him in the team."

Answer 4

At the end of the day it is of course up to you, as the hiring manager, whether you want to bring this person into your team. If you feel that, based on the interview, the person is not going to be a good fit for your team, that may be enough of a reason for you to turn them down.

Or it may not - if you are short on viable candidates, you may need to weigh up your options.

On whether a person's politeness is a judge of character (or whether they are 'likely to betray their peers') - that's not really a hard rule or something that can apply in all situations, or to people from all cultures.

A job interview as a setting is very distinct from a social situation. As you said yourself, someone in a job interview is likely feeling nervous, for any number of reasons. Falling back to 'excessive politeness' may be just how they're dealing with their nervousness.

Overly polite speech may be a cultural thing - the person may feel that you, as a potential superior, are deserving of respect beyond what they would apply in a social situation with equals. This may or may not carry over into their workplace behaviour.

I know when I went to my first 'real' job interview I felt somewhat intimidated by the process, and the two formally-dressed people sitting across the table. I felt that they were far more experienced than me and therefore I should be respectful, similar to interacting with a school teacher. After being hired, I felt much more at ease and was able to interact with my manager as a peer rather than a subordinate.

Many people are also less comfortable around strangers and take some time to 'open up', for any number of reasons. They may appear excessively polite or awkward as they work out how best to interact with each person, but will eventually find their place in the team.

Again, it's your call - people on the internet can't get the 'vibe' of your interview, and a lot of what you're talking about is down to feel rather than facts. If you honestly felt that the person was being excessively polite intentionally to be deceptive somehow (rather than just you being worried about that possibility based on online articles), go with your gut - people here are not going to be able to provide any more insight there.

Answer 5

Interviews are very contrived environments, so I would be reluctant to use this aspect of personal interaction as a significant factor. The whole point of the interview is to put your best self forward in order to get the job. If the candidate believes that being this polite is part to his best self, that's not a bad thing.

It appears from the question that you did the original interview and will be doing the second. If you are concerned about team fit, I would suggest having members of your team be part of the interview, to see if he is overly polite to his future peers and see how well your team interacts with him.

The article you referenced seems to be about evaluating the interaction in an individually competitive environment. Unless you believe members of your team are in competition with each other (as opposed to working towards a common goal) then I wouldn't use that analysis as part of your hiring process.