I just did an interview for a job I really want. Only problem is one of the interviewers was my ex's new fiancée. I was unaware until she introduced herself. She knew beforehand as she had the list of interviews in advance. I believe she has bad feelings for me. I still want the job because I wouldn't be working with her at all.

I haven't gotten a call if I got it or not, but I'm wondering if I should've said something before starting the interview or if I even have a leg to stand on? I had 3 interviewers total.

  • 1
    Were none of you aware of this before the interview?
    – morsor
    Commented Jul 20, 2022 at 14:06
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    Why do you think your ex's new fiancée would have any bad feelings towards you?
    – brhans
    Commented Jul 20, 2022 at 14:39
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    @BSMP - ok, sure - specifics are not necessary to answer the question. So to rephrase then - Do you have any reasonable grounds to believe that your ex's new fiancée would have any bad feelings towards you?
    – brhans
    Commented Jul 20, 2022 at 21:58
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    To raise a point which I don’t think has been mentioned, assuming the interviewer recognised you, it’s very unprofessional that they didn’t mention this themself. If I were put in that situation I’d recuse myself, or at least make sure all the team knew of it in advance. Commented Jul 21, 2022 at 21:23
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    @BSMP - the interviewer is in a position of power in any job interview. It is their duty to ensure that the interviewee feels comfortable. They should have brought it up in the interview - either as a question "[OP], as you know [explanation of relationship] ... do you feel comfortable to continue?" or as a statement - "[OP], I have informed the other members of this panel that [explanation of relationship]." Commented Jul 22, 2022 at 21:56

4 Answers 4


Although I agree with the others that it's too late now - to answer the actual question asked, yes I think it would have been best for you to have acknowledged the connection as soon as you realized. When introduced in the interview you should have said something like:

I think I know you from somewhere.


I'm looking for advice I guess.

Ignore it. If everyone behaves professionally, that it will have no impact. If there is strong emotional interference, there is nothing you can do about it.

Just keep it professional yourself.


If you feel that this specific interviewer would have been unable to provide an unbiased assessment of your fit for the role then yes you should have spoken up immediately.

At this point you just need to wait for their response and hope for the best.


Worst case: Your ex told her new fiancé things about you that are extremely unflattering / would make me not want to employ you. These things might be true or false. Whether he is part of the interview or not, the company will learn about it.

If all he knows about you is in the normal range of human then there should be no problem.

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