How can I talk with my manager about a team member who talks trash about the others in the project?

Question

I have a colleague, developer, not a lead, with whom we work closely on the project. Generally he is reliable and people can expect help from him. I say "generally" because this help always comes with some annoying remarks or unneeded comments. Anyway, he is a member of the team and people are accepting him.

The issue is in our conversations he is very dismissive about the work of others and everyone is incompetent, no skillful people in the project, PM are slobs, etc. I'm listening all this negativity everyday for hours and I start questioning whether I'm developing the same attitude. I can feel I'm part of the team and he applies the same attitude to me, passively.

What or should I discuss this with my manager (who is also the PM)? I don't want to make a fuss since people seems to accept him, but I'm exposed much more.
We have a frequent survey what's wrong and what can be improved. In fact we are asked about feedback for the other team members but feedback is not anonymized.

Answer 1

First, ask yourself the following questions:

• is the attitude of the coworker causing problems for the business?
• is the attitude causing problems in the team?

If the answer to one of the above questions is yes, try to quantify the damage. Is it really significant, or more a "this could be problematic, if someone takes it personally"?

If there is no real harm done, I would let it go. Some people just like to complain. Most probably the attitude is just the coworkers way of venting frustration.

Personal experience:

I have that coworker too. In (austrian) German there is also a word for that kind of guy: "Grantler". It's the one who sits in the pub and complains about taxes, politicians and how his wife spends too much on clothing. At work the team lead always assigns too much tasks to him, the project managers don't understand the project enough, and if something breaks in production he is the one who "knew that this would happen from the start". It's a way of life.

Answer 2

Assuming this is causing problems, you could try to ask him specifically why he says what he says. For example, if he states "Bob is incompetent!", you could ask "What did Bob do to prove himself incompetent? What's wrong with his work?" (feel free to rephrase).

From here, if there are real issues or real causes to your colleague frustrations, you (and/or your team) may be able to find solutions.

And maybe, after a while, he will get the message and stop being dismissive.

But if it's not causing serious damages, I would let it go, as @jwsc suggested it in his answer.

Answer 3

Here's the thing about humans: With the exception of people who are actually insane and have mental issues, most things that people do, are done for a reason. Nobody will say something about how bad other people are, unless they have a reason for thinking that way. When someone says "oh, I think everyone else on the team does shitty work" or something like that, there are really 2 options for what's going on here:

1. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Maybe his definition of "shitty work" is actually "good work", but he works in a different, less efficient way himself, and he can't see that he's actually the one with the shitty work.

2. He actually has a point, and he has some lessons to teach other people to improve work efficiency.

In both cases, someone, perhaps you, perhaps your manager, perhaps your PM, should have a talk with him. But the focus of the talk should not be on getting him to stop complaining or bringing down morale. The focus of the talk should be on what specifically he sees in his colleagues (yourself included) that could be improved, and why he thinks that would be a good idea. Try to hear his story and consider his opinions. Once you've heard his story and considered his point of view, then you can decide if he has a point or not. If he does have a point, then try to implement some of his suggestions; if not, then you can proceed with reprimands or other disciplinary action.

Answer 4

There's a simple fact: this person is what they are and you probably won't change it (and you shouldn't try).

Other answers so far suggest to not bring it up, but I'd disagree. You can tell your manager that this person's attitude is affecting your morale and ask your manager to give you different tasks, where you'd have to communicate with this person less. I think the reasoning you brought up here is absolutely valid, but you can choose to give less details to your manager.

This can backfire, or course, if the manager and the colleague are best buddies, but if the manager is reasonable I wouldn't expect such request to be a problem.

Answer 5

The best course of action is to ignore his trash-talk. Whenever he starts trash-talking, you can try to gently but firmly steer the conversation into some different directions such as:

1. The current status of the project you are working on.

2. Any technical issues you and he are facing and how to resolve them.

3. The next tasks you and he will work on.

4. Your favorite sport teams or his favorite teams.

5. Your favorite video games or his favorite music band.

6. The weather, etc...

After a few times, he will get the message that you don't want to be part of the trash-talk team, and that you just want to work and have fun at work.