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I work for a small company, and I've recently discovered that while talking to the big boss my manager has wrongly blamed me for some issues that delayed our product.

Although I can understand that what he did caused by having a lot of pression himself, I felt betrayed by his behaviour and I was quite angered by it.

I've talked to the big boss explaining what actually happened, and how I could not be blamed for the delay, but after that conversation I've discovered more information which shows how the manager knew surely he had no reason to blame me, but still deliberately chose to throw me under the bus.

Now I'm not sure whether I should approach the big boss again and go back to the topic to make 100% sure he knows what exactly happened, or if I could be seen as argumentative and a person who can't just let it go and move on.

EDIT: What are your suggestions for how to deal with this situation?

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    You already explained/justified to big boss. What did they say? Why do you feel the need to explain yourself again?
    – DarkCygnus
    Commented Sep 2, 2022 at 22:53
  • @DarkCygnus the big boss understood that I was wrongly blamed and said he'll talk to the manager. I've tried to explain in the post that I have now new information which shows the manager knew surely he had no reason to blame me, but still deliberately chose to throw me under the bus. So I'd like the big boss to have the full picture of what happened too
    – duff18
    Commented Sep 3, 2022 at 12:38
  • @JoeStrazzere Yes, he got very defensive and when confronted with evidence about how I could not be blamed for the delay, did not address the point.
    – duff18
    Commented Sep 3, 2022 at 12:40
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    What is your question?
    – solarflare
    Commented Sep 6, 2022 at 23:32
  • @solarflare I'm looking for some opinions/comments/suggestions on this situation, I've added that to the post.
    – duff18
    Commented Sep 7, 2022 at 11:33

3 Answers 3

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It is important to fight the bigger battle and not this skirmish. At this point, you do not trust your manager. That is the bigger battle.

When you don't trust your manager, the only solution is to find a new manager as the rest of your time working for this manager will be unpleasant. Most companies will support an unethical manager over the whistle blowing employee. Trying to make the big boss see your side is most often an exercise in futility.

Start looking for a new job.

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First of all, if you are being "thrown under the bus", chances are that the person doing the throwing (in this case your boss) is far more interested in saving their own skin than the facts of the matter. Chances are that your boss knew you were not responsible but felt the need to cover themselves. That has happened and is in the past and is a battle there is no point in fighting. At best you'll get an apology, but don't count on it.

You have raised the matter with a higher boss, who seemed to listen to you and already believes your story. I don't see a benefit to going to them saying "oh, and another thing...", as it is likely they have better things to do. They have told you they will deal with it and you have to trust they will.

What happens next depends entirely on the people involved. Either:

  • big boss will confront your manager and discipline them
  • big boss will confront your manager and nothing more
  • big boss does nothing

At various stages of my career I've been the person being thrown, reported the facts I have evidence for and been on the receiving end of all three outcomes.

What to do next

The real problem here is that your manager has shown they are not above toxic behaviour to save themselves. No decent manager should act this way. Good managers take the blame themselves for mistakes or failings when speaking to people outside of the department and deal with the specifics within the team; and don't take credit for their team members successes. It seems unfair, it kind of is, but that is the lot of a manager and it's what we are paid for. Your manager is looking out for themselves and no-one else and I wonder if you would ever be able to trust them. This lack of trust is what I see as your real problem here.

Document your interactions as far as possible but this is unlikely to change. I'd suggest refreshing your CV and starting a job search.

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Document it now. Bring it up next time.

Meanwhile look for a new job, just in case this is part of a repeating pattern.

With any luck you will not need that documentation, because your manager will not repeat the insult. Or because you find a new position that you cannot afford to pass up.

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