Recently, my friend told me that his workplace was hiring. I gave them a call, sent in my CV and they offered me the job.

My friend’s manager, now mine, has been a bit of a nightmare. Training was not very thorough, I had lists of questions afterwards, so when I started work this week, I made multiple mistakes. The manager pulled me up for each and every mistake but never addressed the root of the problem. I’ve not had one word of encouragement from him since Monday.

At the end of this week, my first week, he called me for a “catch up” and told me he was concerned about my ability. I asked for more time to learn the role as it’s only my 5th day. He then talked about himself a bit and I managed to squeeze in a couple of work related questions. That same day I received a formal email stating that at my appraisal meeting we discussed the areas in which I am subpar and that this was essentially a formal warning. The owner of the business was also copied in.

I was not told I was in a formal meeting during that phone call. I have only been working for 5 days, and a lot of the mistakes I’ve made could be attributed to a lack of training on week 1. Within the email the manager also made some highly misleading statements; i.e frequent references to extra training which are the emails in which he highlighted my mistakes but nothing more.

I intend to quit. I have never quit a job after one week but it seems the manager has started as he means to go on. He has a good relationship with my friend and I’ve worked hard all week (and during training) to have a good rapport, so I’m not sure if he just doesn’t like me. Or perhaps there’s something on my CV he doesn’t like as I have also previously been a manager. Either way I will be leaving.

My question is, how should I convey to the owner that the manager has been highly misleading in that email? Or is it better to merely hand in my notice and say nothing? I do not want my friend to have any grief after I leave.

  • 2
    I think you should just focus on making things as easy as possible for your friend, and not try to rock the boat. You have nothing to gain from "exposing" your manager. Commented Sep 5, 2022 at 2:27
  • 1
    You probably shouldn't try to reach the owner or maybe just a mail after you quit stating you feel wasn't given a fair chance, your manager is there since longer and probably more trusted.
    – Trueman
    Commented Sep 5, 2022 at 8:12
  • I have to wonder how come this friend never mentioned this behavior of the manager. maybe the friend is a quicker learner? maybe he had more training?
    – ILoveKebab
    Commented Sep 5, 2022 at 13:30

4 Answers 4


My question is, how should I convey to the owner that the manager has been highly misleading in that email? Or is it better to merely hand in notice and say nothing?

Yep, the professional thing to do is to hand your notice, serve it and move on.

There is few to gain from trying to "expose" the manager and their lack of training etc..

I suggest you focus your efforts in finding a new job and landing an offer. In fact, it would be wise to hand your notice after you have secured another offer/job, although I perceive from your post/writing (you sound confident) that you already may have an offer lined up.

Best of luck with your job change.


The common wisdom is that there is little benefit from trying to fix up any part of a company culture when you are on your way out the door.

You will waste your time and energy, and you will be at best ignored and at worst labeled a troublemaker. The troublemaker accusation could spread beyond the company you just left.

However -- you may owe it to your friend to explain why you have to leave the position that he helped you get.

Talk to him in person (don't write anything down) and explain your situation in detail. Try not to talk in terms of blame etc. Don't forget to thank him for his recommendation.


You should resign with as little fuss as possible. Doing otherwise will have no benefit. Your early departure will shine a negative light on your friend, since he referred you to the job, and his referral didn't work out, and you don't want to make it worse for him.


Since your goal seems to be to help your friend, why don't you ask them? Random strangers on the internet have no idea what may or may not help them in their current situation. They know their boss. They know their bosses boss.

If you want to help your friend, talk to them directly, not about them on the internet.

  • Downvoted because money has a way of changing friendships. Cold hard truth at times. I would not discuss any notion of leaving with this "friend".
    – paulj
    Commented Nov 1, 2022 at 11:19

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .