In my previous organization, the team I was on had to work with several other teams that left a bad taste in my mouth. Over the course of several years, upper leadership eventually took notice and began to take steps to rectify those teams, but by then I'd already become exhausted. I moved to a new organization in hopes that it'd be a clean slate that I could be more relaxed in. This mostly ended up being the case, but even in the new organization I've found I continue to have little patience for the fatal mistakes I encountered in my previous organization.
For instance, say some engineer with 10 years of experience one day pops in with some massive redesign of the company's architecture that they worked on alone for the past several months without telling anyone. I know how to constructively handle this. It's an easy conversation to have with leadership to make sure we're keeping better track of what's getting worked on, and put into place some forum to talk about architecture changes to encourage engineers to discuss changes they might want to make more openly. Despite this, I can't help but find myself distracted: "This rather senior engineer should know better, and our organization's performance matrix makes it very clear that even fairly junior engineers are expected to socialize their changes well in advance. Why do I have to deal with this?", and it often blows over into feeling burnt out in my personal time after work.
Normally I'm rather happy to help. I've gotten feedback from my peers & other teams in the organization that I'm outgoing & really appreciated for how much I offer to help others. If there is a new hire that doesn't understand part of our architecture, a junior engineer that is struggling with something above their level, or just day-to-day questions as people learn new things, I'm very happy to help them. When it comes to elementary expectations though, I can't help but feel some sort of PTSD from my previous organization. It's not necessarily impacting my engagements with others in the new organization, but it leaves me feeling exhausted every few weeks when something like this happens, which I don't enjoy.
How can I reduce or eliminate this exhaustion?