I have joined a new software company and facing problems on multiple fields. Wanted suggestions on how to handle these and continue without getting discouraged.
My team lead (who recently got promoted as a manager), say Mr. TL, seem to be very eager to prove me useless. He breaths on my shoulder all the time, keeps on loading me with all his ideas, he shows anger if I don't take his ideas, as a result I find myself working all the time on his ideas. Then in meeting he publicly insults me in front of juniors and seniors that I don't have any knowledge and I work totally on his ideas. When I talk to him on this issue, he says I am very slow, so he has to help me. Why does he need me in this company if he has to help me.
After hearing this, I tried to speed up. I was given some work, which I completed before their expected time. I didn't have to take help from the lead as (luckily) it was a holiday season, and he was not in office. When he speaks to me privately, he praises me saying 'good work', but when I ask him in the meeting about his feedback, he says 'it is ok'. So, in last two weeks I was doing well, but this week he came back to office and again I am stuck in a problem that I am unable to resolve. and his attitude is like 'I knew'. It looks to me he keeps on waiting for me to fail and prove to everyone I am useless.
This Mr. TL and a junior female software engineer, say Miss SE, seems to have collaborated to make my life a hell here. I heard Mr. TL saying to Miss SE, about a new joinee (joined as a data scientist), 'make friendship with him, pull him down to your level'. I can't help but concluding that these two people are doing the same thing with me purposefully. They try all means to isolate me, looks like they want me to suffer all alone. They don't like it if I speak with anyone else in office. They play tricks to drive away people from me. If they catch me speaking with anyone, they call people and do things to drive away people's attention to them and forget that they were speaking with me. Once Mr. TL caught me (or rather caught Miss SE) speaking with me in lunch, he kept teasing Miss SE for rest of the day.
Though I am older than these two people, I am new to this field and company and of course they have better knowledge and network here. As a result of regular this kind of bullying I started hating my favorite subjects that I really liked in my college before joining here. Sometimes I feel like giving up but try to keep myself motivated to go on. I tried raising my concerns to seniors but they said I need to improve on my speed and knowledge, that's just his personality, nothing else. I don't think I will get any help from seniors as they need him in the business more than me.
Mr TL also seem to be very manipulative, and always busy babbling about how great he is. I, somehow, get irritated when I see people blowing their own trumpet. I have seen him saying wrong things many times, but I don't even feel like pointing those out. I just keep quiet. It might be possible that the fact 'i don't join his fanfare' enrages him.
So as of now, only way I can see, to keep my spirit not-low and not getting depressed, is to totally ignore Miss SE, Mr. TL and his fans (who are the other people reporting to him), just put a headphone and talk to him only when there is a need for the work; or go sit in some other place and come back for discussion when required.
Don't know if I am doing it right or there is a better way to handle the situation. Please suggest.
Problem is, with this regular bullying, I end up spending more time feeling bad and thinking about how to avoid this bullying, than the technical problem I have to solve at work. As a result my performance becomes low whenever they are not out for a holiday.