I am a software developer with 10 years of professional experience. In order to gain experience leading a team, I have decided to be involved in a side project with a friend who switched careers via a coding bootcamp, people he met there and some fresh college grads. This friend has over a decade of experience in other fields with some management experience. So he runs the weekly meeting. Said friend and I are responsible for the back-end programming portion of the project.
Most meetings or weekends when I try to work with him, he says he's too tired from his day job or family. He did ask me to help once, but I had unplanned obligations and when I got home, I followed up to which he replied he was burned out.
I have written functioning code and given it to friend to make some changes to. It's a good opportunity to gain experience and ask questions. I have written instructions on how to run everything he needs, and prerequisites he needs like Python and a JRE. However, I didn't go through every step to install the prerequisites; I gave him links with instructions. He is insisting that he be provided with explicit numbered instructions; I explained that the purpose is to move from an I'm lost mindset to an I can solve this mindset. All of this can be learned by searching and reading.
It's an important skill in software development when you're faced with a challenge which is why I objected. Later, he told me I make the meetings toxic that I need to be supportive and honestly, I'm aggravated. I would be more receptive if he tried things and had questions. I find helping people who ask programming questions at work rewarding when I can solve them, but it seems like he just wants to be spoon fed. What can I do to lead appropriately? Am I asking too much of someone with coding bootcamp experience?
Edit: I've been texting him since November and asking at the meeting if he looked at it and to reach out with questions. He almost always said he was tired. He has only recently said he looked at it.