- I work in tech which is very male dominated.
- I work for a large company with >1000 employees
A newish (<1 year) colleague, straight out of university, is behaving in an aggressively toxic manner. Here are four examples:
- Telling an explicit joke about her private parts.
- Telling a colleague he was “being a p***y” loudly in enough to be heard in a room of +200 colleagues.
- Telling Hitler jokes on her first day.
- Telling me to “get f***ed” during a standup.
There are many, many more examples.
I complained about the latter example to my manager. She avoided discussing it for two weeks, but when she finally did she claimed I treat her differently to other members of the team - and indicated I was patronising her.
I’ve talked with my manager, and I’ve accepted that I can come across blunt and straight to the point, but I don’t accept I was targeting this behaviour in a particular direction. Concluding, that conversation we agreed I need to work on my people skills and to avoid contact with her.
But reflecting on that conversation I don’t think my manager sees the pattern of toxic behaviour for what it is. The other instances were just things I overheard in a social context and not in a conversation with me, so they can’t be related to my interpersonal skills.
Am I being too sensitive? Or is this something I should bring up?
Outcome I want to achieve: Colleague learns toxic behaviour is unacceptable, I don’t lose respect from management.
Thanks in advance