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There is an aggresive senior colleague in our company. The company is dominated by the same caste he is. He thinks I stole his rain-coat. And the reality is that I don't even drive two wheelers to need his raincoat. I have my umbrella. I told him this in call where he was very aggressive and I am pretty sure he hasn't trusted me on it. He'll ask me again tommorow. My other colleague called me and said that "he was on fire, he will check your bag tommorow". That's disrespectful and mean thing to even imagine to say for a person that I am. How do I deal respectfully without losing my self respect with him?

I don't want to bend but at the same time don't want to disrespect him with words.

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    Does this answer your question? Colleague teases me with girls colleagues name, how do I solve this issue? - while not the exactly the same situation, the answer is the same - you ask/tell them to stop. Mostly linked because that's another question from the same poster. Aug 13, 2023 at 14:48
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    @zeeshanseikh You just asked if I was on drugs. Do you really think that is acceptable, either in a professional environment, or in a welcoming community rooted in kindness, cooperation and mutual respect? Aug 13, 2023 at 15:01
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    If someone tries to help answer your question with a comment and you don't understand I'd just ask "how do you mean?" and not "how on earth does that answer this question" and jokingly ask if they are high Aug 13, 2023 at 15:01
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    I apologize. To everyone. Aug 13, 2023 at 15:04
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    For what it's worth, I think you'll need an answer from someone familiar with caste systems and those countries. In my country (UK) I wouldn't care about disrespecting someone who had falsely accused me of something (although i might try to understand why they had accused me and keep the conversation civil) Aug 13, 2023 at 15:16

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I'd lose your respect for him rather than your self-respect.

The simple answer is "No, I really didn't; if you insist on checking by all means check but with all due respect I have nothing to do with this, I have no idea who did take it, and you're going to have to look elsewhere." Repeat as necessary.

If he insists on checking your bag I'd consider letting him go ahead and do so; he's embarrassing himself, not you.

From my own experience, odds are good that nobody took it; he just put it down somewhere (a restaurant, perhaps) and forgot he had done so.

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    I absolutely would not give permission to anyone to “check my bag”, unless they were in law enforcement, and only when it I would legally be required to do so.
    – Donald
    Aug 13, 2023 at 22:17
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    @Donald: Standing on your rights tends to get muddy footprints on them. There are times when principle matters more that practicality, but I submit that this is not such a case. If looking will make the troublemaker go away, and you don't have some specific reason to refuse, letting them look costs you very little compared to what it gains you.
    – keshlam
    Aug 13, 2023 at 22:20
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    @keshlam - The author appears to be bullied at work (based on their past questions). It also appears they have trouble communicating in a professional manner.
    – Donald
    Aug 13, 2023 at 22:31
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    I'm answering the question asked, which is what Stack Exchange is for. You're welcome to disagree, and to post your own proposed answer.
    – keshlam
    Aug 13, 2023 at 22:42

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