How to deal with unprofessional colleague without being unprofessional myself?

Question

Colleague teases me with girls colleagues name, how do I solve this issue?

This colleague is very unpleasant.

First things first, I got this job because of my sister had contact of my current manager. One day, my manager told this in front of all of us juniors (not sure why). He hinted, but he didn't actually tell "You are here because of your sister".

And this unpleasant colleague keeps repeatedly testing my patience by telling to everyone "his sister got him here"infront of me to make me feel ashamed. I am not sure but this sound very unpleasant and unprofessional to me.

The most amazing thing is that he himself got here because of his uncle(mother's brother). He is no more than an average employee. Whenever I do better than him in tickets, he gets extremely nervous and the way to cope for him is to tell "I am here due to my sister". I really don't know how to react about this. I am ignoring this as of now.

The thing that it hurts is that at this point, I am very capable to go into any interviews for entry level roles like internships and trainee roles and crack the interviews.(I've cracked a couple just last few week) But should I tell that I am leaving my company because of this toxic behaviour of colleague to my current employee or to my future employee?

I don't want to be unprofessional. But this mentality of a person do deserve some response. How should I react?

It doesn't seem good to go to HR with this stupid reason,neither it sounds fair to talk with manager about this. He is really disregarding/domineering me and I don't feel good about that as a capable adult(in terms of job).

Answer 1

How to deal with unprofessional colleague without being unprofessional myself?

Based on what you wrote, your sister did aid you in acquiring your job. This is nothing to be ashamed or upset about. Many people are given the opportunity to apply for or interview for positions due to some form of networking, your case is no different.

The way to deal with this colleague is to continue ignoring their comments as you have been. Clearly this person has some sort of obsession with you, and if they continue to publicly make comments about you, your other colleagues will take notice and realize the same thing. Continue to do your work as you normally do and limit your interactions with this colleague only to work related matters.

I don't want to be unprofessional. But this midget mentality of a person do deserve some response. How should I react?

No, they don't deserve anything and risking your job due to a bad reaction on your part will likely not end well for you. Just ignore this person and move on.

Answer 2

If a colleague is being unpleasant to you, your first option is to ignore them. They may stop. If they continue to be unpleasant, you can ask them directly to stop. If they continue, keep a log of each incident, and ask your manager to intervene. If your manager is unwilling to do so, or not effective, go to HR. If HR are unwilling or ineffective, speak to an employment lawyer about your options in your jurisdiction.

When/if getting a job elsewhere is less effort or less unpleasant than continuing to work at your current place and working through the process to solve/escalate this issue, do that. The point at which this is the case is entirely down to your judgement of your circumstances, but for me would definitely be before the 'ask a lawyer' step. Once you have an unconditional offer in hand, resign, serve your notice and leave.

Don't hit anyone under any circumstances, or use the sort of language you initially used in this question in the workplace.

It sounds like you may already be at the stage where you perceive your manager is part of the problem, and also that you can get other offers relatively easily. Don't say bad things about your current workplace or colleagues in interviews - it cannot help you secure another job. There's also nothing for you to gain by complaining about the colleague or boss after you have resigned - either you ask for the problem to be fixed before leaving and if it isn't then it's obvious why you're going and unlikely they will do anything once you are gone, or if you say nothing until after you have resigned, either you are correct that it's such a bad environment that they would do nothing anyway, or it looks like you were half the problem anyway.

Answer 3

Based on this post and the other post you referenced, I'm going to say that despite you claiming that you're not a reactive person, you actually have a really thin skin. Wherever you go in life, there's always going to be some person who enjoys annoying others. There IS a threshold for a workplace, but in these two cases that you've mentioned, you might not find that a boss or HR is receptive to hearing you out. You are dealing with what is really playground-level teasing here, and your colleague is having quite a fun time at seeing your reaction.

You really have two good choices here.

1. Ignore the colleague completely, and it will eventually stop. Brush it off. But this might mean you do a little extra to keep yourself calm. Run some laps. Spend time at the gym. Meditate. Don't give this person the space in your life to ruin your day.
2. Use some "snappy comebacks". This approach will take some practice because you don't want to introduce any subjects whereas your colleague can accuse you of any sort of workplace harassment. But you need to make some humorous statement that signals to the colleague that you are aware of what he's doing, and that you are able to respond (tactfully) to disarm him. Try here. Again, be VERY careful with what you say.