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What I'm trying to say is "On multiple occasions (name) has tried to 'set me up (meaning a romantic relationship) with both the customers and some of the ups drivers" I am currently typing my exit interview email and would like some help please!!!

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    "Without my consent and despite my repeated protest, so-and-so has encouraged customers and UPS drivers to ask me out." Maybe something like that. How many times has this happened? This borders on bullying and sexual harassment if you ask me. Can you remember the specific instances? If you can specify actual dates and names, all the better. Are you quitting because of this? May be don't quit, it sounds like that other person needs to be fired. Feb 27 at 14:06
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    May be talk to an employment lawyer and see if you have a case they'd like to take on contingency. Feb 27 at 14:12
  • She has never asked a customer directly to ask me out on a date, however if a regular walks in she'll ask if they are single and while they are shopping she tries to push me towards them, and with the ups drivers she insists that a certain one deliver the days I worked, and much like with the customers she asks them if they are single or not. I am leaving because the store manager has tried to make me come into work when I had a doctors excuse (strep and covid) this will also be included in my email as well. However I kept a list of everything that has occurred within me working there
    – Kota
    Feb 27 at 14:19
  • pt 2. including Talking about her ex's genital's: Suggesting me and another co-worker take diet pills; Making comments about me dressing more feminine; Saying that I was faking being sick; Yelling at me (Infront of customers at times); Pitching a fit over me asking for a day off 2 weeks in advance; And lastly the comment "don't use that 'I have autism' excuse" has been said on multiple occasions.
    – Kota
    Feb 27 at 14:29
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    Honestly at this point it feels like you should be making a formal complaint to HR rather than doing a regular exit interview. Feb 27 at 14:33

2 Answers 2

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While I would normally agree with Kate on her answer, you are typing an exit interview email.

This is how it should go:

Dear Boss,

I have decided to accept another position and my last day will x date.

Thank you for the opportunity to work here.

Sincerely Kota

Saying anything negative will only hurt you. Now if you feel like you have a sexual harassment case, discuss that with your lawyer first and do what he says.

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    Your wording would be appropriate for the actual resignation, but I assume that given an exit interview has been arranged the poster has already resigned. Feb 27 at 14:30
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    @PhilipKendall- same basic principle applies. "Saying anything negative will only hurt you." The time to say something about this situation was a long time ago. Feb 27 at 15:29
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Don't use a euphemism like "set me up" and don't try to categorize many different instances into one. Instead say something like:

There has been a consistent pattern of [name] trying to arrange dates for me against my will. On [date], [name] suggested to [customer] that [customer] and I should [what was specifically suggested eg see a movie, go for coffee]. On at least [number] occasions, [name] teased [driver] saying things like [haven't you asked her out yet or whatever the suggestion was].

List as many of these as you can, and if there are more that you haven't listed, indicate a total number or a frequency (this happened at least once every week, for example.)

If you don't have exact dates, then "in January" or "throughout the summer" will have to do.

If the reason you are leaving is because of this treatment, state that explicitly. If you reported it to a superior who didn't take action, state that also.

With all that said, please don't feel it's "on you" to word this email perfectly. Someone is being rude and unwelcoming and you are not going to be working there any more. While it's generous of you to try to get something done about the person (and those left behind or still to be hired will benefit if you succeed) this isn't an obligation you owe to anyone and in many cases companies don't take action on what they learn in exit interviews, which is a shame. Get it written and sent, then move on to places that don't employ people like that.

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  • Thank you, Kate. I'm aware that the company is most likely to ignore my email, seeing as how they treat their younger employees. However I see this as a way of closure over the events that occurred while working there.
    – Kota
    Feb 27 at 14:40
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    See the question about sending a nastygram after an application-declined letter. Your issue may be more legitimate, but there is some risk involved and it's a bad habit to let yourself fall into. Write the letter for the catharsis, then toss it in the shredder rather than sending it.
    – keshlam
    Feb 27 at 15:34
  • @keshlam Is this the one you mean? Is responding negatively to a job rejection email likely to cause me trouble? Maybe it should be reopened if the answers there are useful to others?
    – ColleenV
    Feb 27 at 15:45
  • The answers are still there even though it was closed. Deciding whether to close is never simple, and we usually prefer not to close if there is at least one good answer, but there isn't an absolute threshold; it's reviewer votes or lack thereof. You can certainly nominate it for reopening, though I wouldn't bother; what needed to be said got said. I probably wouldn't vote for or against doing so.
    – keshlam
    Feb 27 at 16:08

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