A little over a week ago, my boss gave me an unwarranted verbal lashing. We are now supposed to meet in person on a once weekly basis for an hour to discuss my work activities. I am in the process of finding another position and have an internal lead -- so I might be out of my current role in 1-2 weeks or more/less.

Is there some way that I can request the weekly meeting be over Microsoft Teams -- and have this happen successfully? Can someone give me appropriate wording for an email that says that? My concern is that I know any email I would personally draft would include that I do not feel comfortable meeting in person given the severity of the outburst from my boss at the last meeting. I know that my boss prefers that this meeting be in person but the idea of that makes me REALLY uncomfortable.

I have no other choice but to stay at this job until I find something else and going to HR and potentially losing the job isn't an option for me. My boss is unjustly building a case against me that I am an incompetent.

  • 1
    Can you request that another person (coworker) be present during the meeting?
    – DaveG
    Commented Mar 11 at 1:38
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    As the employee it’s not often we determine how our manager will handle the interactions or our meeting. You might feel it’s unwarranted and it might be but until you make that internal move, your manager is your supervisor I would assume, and they determine how and when the meeting will happen. You as the employee are welcome to continue to look for a new position, if you find that, to be unacceptable. An in-person meeting isn’t unreasonable at the surface.
    – Donald
    Commented Mar 11 at 2:57
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    Strongly consider doing exactly what your boss tells you to do. If you cannot do that, consider sick leave. Commented Mar 11 at 7:28
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    "and have this happen successfully" - no one who knows the Words Of True Power is going to just tell you them...
    – AakashM
    Commented Mar 11 at 10:15
  • Do you work onsite ? If yes, why can't you have the meetings in-person instead of over MS Teams ? -- Does your manager have in-person or MS Teams meetings with other team members ? Commented Mar 12 at 5:59

2 Answers 2


Based on the OP's prior questions, it sounds like this whole situation is a huge dumpster fire, and trying to micromanage a situation like this is a waste of time.

If you feel harassed, tell HR that you've been harassed, and demand an HR employee accompany you to any meeting with the person in question. If they don't do that, then refuse to go the meeting. Stop with the excuses. The time for being mousy about a situation that's gone on for a year or more is long, long past.

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    Refusing to go to a meeting would generally be immediate grounds for dismissal
    – Tiger Guy
    Commented Mar 11 at 13:49
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    And what's your advice where op gets fired right after, when they explictly told us that they cannot afford to lose the job? Power moves make for cool answer, reality less so.
    – Aida Paul
    Commented Mar 11 at 16:47

If you leave your job wouldn't your future employer need references from your former employer?

And, how long have you been working in your current position? If it's several years, you must have been doing something right.

If you hope for good references–unlikely seeing the recent outburst– grit your teeth and do exactly what your boss tells you: meet in person once a week, with luck you're out within a month. If your employer happens to harp on with their insults, criticisms, complaints, uncalled-for accusations etc. do not react or go on the defensive. Except ask, as politely as possible, that the list of complaints be copied onto email, that way when you feel less shaky/stressed you can read the criticisms carefully and with objectivity, in the meantime continue applying to different companies and, of course, do your interviews outside your working hours.

It could be that your employer will use the upcoming face-to-face meeting as an opportunity to apologise for their behaviour or soften their accusations. Only you know your employer well enough to discard this eventuality.

Don't be afraid of your employer or their words. You can stand up for yourself in an email (it's written documentation and proof) when you reply or go through Human Resources. At least you'll be to show HR your employer's email.

  • 1
    Human Resources, usually, not Health Resources. Typo, I assume.
    – keshlam
    Commented Mar 11 at 16:59
  • @keshlam thank you, yes it was a senior moment.
    – Mari-Lou A
    Commented Mar 11 at 17:30
  • Being a senior myself, fully understood!
    – keshlam
    Commented Mar 11 at 21:36

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