It’s been a while since i started working at a company where this one guy says personal comments about me and teases in front of other people. Here are some examples:

  1. In the past, in front of other people he has said things like “Yo, he has a porn genre and that is hentai” even though I personally never talked about porn in office.
  2. He mentioned to some guy who walked into my room that “He (referring to me) looks like he smokes weed”.
  3. He cuts me off when I'm talking to someone and then starts talking about himself. He constantly makes fun of my choices like food, clothes, drinks, etc in front of other office people.
  4. He once said to someone in front of me that “I fight with people” but nothing like that even ever happened.
  5. He constantly teases me about something i had said earlier and says “oh you’re a sexist because you said so”, “oh you are a rude person because you did this” even when nobody else feels this way.
  6. Whenever I discuss with him anything related to work, he makes me feel like I'm an idiot. I have started feeling bad when in front of other people, especially in office he says such things.

I tried talking to him privately that I do not like this behavior and even started maintaining distance by staying quiet and saying formal greetings like hello and all.

But he still keeps on doing it or whenever I say that he shouldn't speak like this with me, he says I'm being ridiculous and leaves the room and do not want to have conversation.

Am I being too big of a snowflake and develop thick skin or he’s being unreasonable by passing such personal comments in office in front of everyone?

2 Answers 2


Assuming you're in the US this applies.

You've already spoken to him, you can choose to talk to him again or not.

Talk to your direct report and clearly explain this is "unacceptable and unprofessional".

Follow up ASAP with an email.

Next time, go to HR and again follow up with an email.

If it still happens, email the someone in the C-suite.

You don't have to put up with this.


Sometimes the best defense is a good offense.

Now - We feel how we feel - if someone is saying/doing something that makes you uncomfortable - you absolutely have the right to tell them and raise it with management etc.

As per the answer by Dogboy37 - that is the 'correct' answer...

However - something tells me that this type of person would respond better to a witty retort and Banter:


When he says: “Yo, he has a porn genre and that is hentai” - something like 'You only know that cause you said it was too tame for your tastes'

When he says: “He (referring to me) looks like he smokes weed” - reply with 'It's the only way I can think down to your level' (said with a big smile on your face)

I could be wrong - but all of those jabs, to me, seem like they are asking for some for of witty response - and a good natured laugh.

If you can come up with a funny retort and you both have a laugh - something tells me he will probably not rhib you as much.

  • 2
    My worry would be that he takes that as a sign that the OP enjoys "bantz" and encourage him even more Commented May 18 at 10:35
  • 2
    @TheDemonLord - That is my personal method. I smackdown people who need it like that. But - I never suggest that to others. Because of the risk of sending somebody to mess with a crazy person or being outclassed and tormeted by a mean jerk.
    – DogBoy37
    Commented May 18 at 11:31

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