How can I politely leave meetings I can't contribute to or learn from?

Question

At my job we have fairly frequent meetings with either ill-defined agendas, or agendas that are a long list of subjects with no central theme - basically "the team should meet to talk about anything anyone feels should be brought up" meetings, with or without everyone emailing a list of what they want to talk about in advance. (I'm not in charge of organizing them, although I could suggest a different model if anyone has a good alternative.)

At some meetings, there turns out to be nothing that's relevant to my part of the job, or else we go over most of the points of the list quickly and then end up spending half an hour on something I can't contribute to. (Most of the team does hands-on science, I just do the data analysis). Is there any polite way for me to excuse myself from the meeting when it becomes clear there is no reason for me to be there? Or would it be a bad idea to try at all?

Answer 1

I would advise you to discuss it in private with your manager (or with whoever is organizing the meetings if it isn't your manager). Let them know how you feel, but try not to insult them. If they're worth their salt they should value your time and try to make a plan accordingly - either by altering the structure of the meetings or by arranging some way to let non-hands-on-science people leave the room when the meeting moves in that direction.

If your manager isn't receptive, you could try discussing it with your teammates. Who tends to derail the conversation into off-topic stuff? Would you feel comfortable asking them to try to wait until they're meeting only with the hands-on science people to bring up those topics?

In general, I simply recommend being honest (but constructively so) with anyone who could change the situation for you - and doing it in private, so nobody feels attacked in front of their peers.

Answer 2

**Be upfront and honest and ask:

Am I still needed here?

**

Then re-acknowledge the items that have been assigned to you during the meeting before leaving..

I'll have that report ready for you by the end of the day

Of course this is under the assumption that you KNOW you are not needed, and everyone else will agree. (IE your manager didn't ask you sit in and take notes)

Answer 3

Given that you really consider there's no gain in being there, here's my suggestion:

Try sitting next to your boss. When the meeting gets to its most pointless, quietly turn to your boss and say "hey, I have to deliver X today, I will make it, but I need the time. You think I can sneak out to get this done?". The boss will not say no if you do it in the perfect time.

Depending on the pointlessness of the meeting, he/she will probably wish to go with you.

Now, if YOUR BOSS called the meeting, you're out of luck. Attend and try not to fall asleep.

Answer 4

In general, this is all going to depend on who's at the meeting and how easily they might be offended.

I would say a better solution would be to talk to the meeting organizers. Ask them to consider using an agenda noting that

• It will likely make everyone more productive, knowing what needs to be covered ahead of time

• You'll have a history of what was covered for future reference

At the same time, you can ask them to organize the meetings so that you do your part and let others do theirs. If you have an agenda that clearly states nothing of relevance to you, it doesn't seem rude to step out at that point.

Answer 5

I've always hated this style of meeting. If there's no structure at all, someone will always hijack it to discuss something that serves their own purpose (usually a discussion of how important they are). At least in the "each person reports" kind of meeting, you can tell how far along you are in the process, though invariably someone whose contributions are minimal still uses "their time" to discuss their tasks in great depth to justify their continued employment.

So, I would discuss the meetings with your boss and suggest that, rather than waiting until the meeting happens to decide what to talk about, people submit topics. The easiest way to do it would be simply to have everyone write their topic title on a white board in the room when they arrive, but it would be better if someone was designated to manage the agenda and have everyone submit the ideas in advance. One of the major advantages of this is that if it's known in advance, then everyone can gather their thoughts about their own topic AND prepare to discuss everyone else's.

If no one accepts that, I would suggest using random phone calls or texts to allow you to depart from the meeting, or needing to run to your desk to "re-start a processor intensive computation". Or schedule dentist appointments that conflict....

Answer 6

Since you seem to be in a different specialty than the others on your team, this is what I would suggest. Ask your boss to cover topics you need to know about first and then excuse you when those are done. As a specialist, I have done this in past and it worked very well. Of course you have to have a reasonable boss who would rather have you working than sitting in on a meeting discussing things you have no expertise or knowledge of. It is often best to start doing this when you have a deadline approaching to give you a good excuse for why you are asking. Its espcially good if you can work it so that you are two or three weeks from the dealine and thus we need to do this for several meetings in row. Once they get used to the idea, it is easier to make it a permanent thing.

I have also offered to be available by phone for meeting if something comes up where they might need me, but normally would not need my input. I've escaped many hours-long client meetings this way! It won't work for the regular team meeting, but it might for some other meetings.

Answer 7

If you can't physically get out of the meeting, but it's acceptable for people to have laptops out, then one simple option might be to just use your laptop to start replying to email or working on something which is relevant to you during the meeting. Admittedly it's not a very good option, because it's not the best way for you to concentrate, it can be perceived as rude, and you might be better off leaving the meeting for real; but in some circumstances asking to leave (or just leaving directly) may be disruptive whereas just doing something else may not disturb anyone. Another advantage of the laptop is that it's possible for you to "wake up" and check every now and then if the discussion has moved to some agenda item which is relevant for you.

Answer 8

I would just say to stay in the meeting, You may not know why you were asked to be there in the first place. After all most meetings will only take an hour.

If you really feel that you need to not be in the meeting, and are in a good place in your job and company, you could always explain to the meeting organizer or the person who asked you to be there that it may not be the best use of your time. If you are already in the meeting before you realize this you could always wait for a good break point of the meeting and excuse yourself and just state that you feel that the meeting is not the best use of your time.

Answer 9

"we have fairly frequent meetings with either ill-defined agendas, or agendas that are a long list of subjects with no central theme" - I am afraid you are missing the whole point of meetings here.

Meetings usually do have one quite clear and straightforward, yet hidden agenda. Meetings are a ritual for establishing and affirming the manager's presence and power. This is the corporate equivalent of an officer lining his troops.

Just by having to show up on time, possibly wait, listen, nod in agreement, report what you are doing, explain yourself over this or that, etc, you:

(1) prove your allegiance to the manager;

(2) keep up your psyche in a habit of obeying them;

(3) expose yourself, thus allowing them to notice any disturbing trends in the team mood (e.g. not being enthusiastic, not showing interest, not abiding by the unwritten culture codes, etc).

Of course, there are subtle and time-efficient methods to achieve the above, but do not forget that most entrepreneurs and mid-level managers are there to exercise power on the first place and make profits only on the second.

A meeting is nothing but a w*nkjob for a manager's narcissism - and corporate environment is among the most favourable and fertile environments for growing narcissism.

Figuring out the whole game is a hard pill to swallow for people who are dedicated to their work. But, for good or bad, that is how employment works. If you want to concentrate on your professionalism, talent and self-improvement, you can pursue freelancing or entrepreneurship, or some occasionally milder version of the employment model.

But, in all cases, do not engage into exposing the futility of prolonged meetings or "inventing" better methods for team communication, or openly rebelling. You'd be on the losing side, because seemingly nonsense meetings are not something wrong (for the manager) which needs repair, they are something useful (for the manager), in disguise.