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I am a software engineer at a top multinational corporation. I have extreme stage fright, to the extent that I cannot speak in a group.
Whenever I go for a meeting, my situation is like kaato tau khoon nahi - fluttering or pounding heart, tremor in the hands and legs, sweaty hands, facial nerve tics, dry mouth, erectile dysfunction, dizziness and feeling like I have a fever. My heartbeat rises from 74 to 110.
My condition is very very bad. Lots of people have stage fright, but not to this degree. Nobody in the world can be as phobic as I am. I would rather fight with a lion than give a presentation.
I can't explain my fear to anyone at work. Because of the phobia, I'm considering resigning or searching for other jobs that do not require communication.
I am a Java developer. I have good technical knowledge. I am a very positive and optimistic person, but because of my terrible communication, people can't see that.
How can I best overcome my fear in meetings, or explain my problems to management so that I can get help?