How do I deal with a manager who is now ignoring me a lot [duplicate]

Question

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• How to deal with a manager who stonewalls me? [closed] 2 answers

I was assigned a new manager recently (about 3 months ago) as a result of an organization restructure. Since the manager was initially a peer (though of a higher designation), he was the one who was recommended to senior level management. We have always gotten along pretty well. He is well aware of my work capabilities and ability to handle complex projects, as he has worked with me in the past. He has also given me total freedom in my work while always being willing to come in and chat about how things are going and giving input when needed.

However, this manager recently brought in a number of juniors from his previous company who also report to him along with me. These juniors hang out with him all the time doing all the tasks assigned by him only (sometimes ignoring actual project work to focus on tasks set by him).

As a result, I have noticed that my manager has been ignoring me and spends all his time with these other direct reports. He also seems to avoid conversation even when I say hello or greet him.

I am at my wits' end about how to handle this other than just leaving the company. I feel I am being disrespected. I can't try to be part of the group of the other employees who report to him since they have a very clique-ish group and tend to only hang out with each other.

A couple of things to note is that my reputation in the company is pretty well defined and I have pretty good visibility and experience with all the management ranging from the current management in the team to the CEO level due to the quality of the work I have done. That said, I am pretty disturbed at what is happening since I feel that I am not being respected, which might affect my future prospects in this company (it's a pretty small company).

Answer 1

It's not easy to give a satisfied answer for you, however, it may be Art of relation and about pull or push strategy in the workspace.

You have described the situation between you and the new manager clearly. And, a few of things might be worth to think about:

(1) How about the relationship between you and those folks brought to the company with the manager? Since you are senior than those junior folks, how do you also keep the proper relations with them ?

(2) In the relation (distance) between you and the manager, does it obstruct your job ? (not emotionally)

(3) What's your strategy if he keeps ignoring you and make you feel bad ? Can you just go on to say hello to him as the first day or you can stop yourself to try to fight him down ?

Just forget the job title, He's just a new guy to a new company. Some of days he might leave from the company to another new one. No matter what he does you are still you, you have done your jobs well, and you know how to make jobs done in the company, even you know more much about the company culture than the new guy. Just keep the pace as stable as you were and you are. And you will win respect because you show them your attraction.

So, if you like to say hello, just keep it. Please don't be disturbed about by any one.

Answer 2

The manager apparently made a conscious choice to put you in the background. You are really asking what can you do to have him make the conscious choice to put you in the foreground.

You need to have one or more casual, hopefully relaxed conversations with him AND his juniors where they let them let their hair down. You need to get a sense of what your manager is looking for in his reports that you are not giving him. Is the manager expecting a certain amount of adulation and dependency from you that you are not going to give? Are his reports engaged in some kind of hero worship that fulfills his need to be needed and put on a pedestal? There is no way for you to know what the issue is unless you talk to them, and you get a sense of what they are saying and perhaps of what they are NOT saying.

If you decide that your manager is into some kind of cult of himself, you may decide that you and him have ways of managing and getting managed that amount to irreconciliable differences and take the logical next step, which is to fire him by leaving.

You need to start from a blank slate i.e. an open mind and get a feel of his attitude toward you, the basis of his attitude toward you and whether you can change the basis of his attitude toward you. He may be into hero worship but it may dawn on him that you are at least as capable as he is and that he needs you, and that realization may cause a change in his attitude toward you. Who knows? But you won't know what's going on with him and his reports unless you talk to them. You have to talk to them. Otherwise, you won't have a clue on how to react to what they are thinking. Because you don't know what they are thinking.