This September, I will be going into the third year of my electrical & computer engineering degree. After first year, I applied for an internship at a local development company and was lucky enough to get the job. I did not misrepresent my skills on my resume, and I felt I gave my interviewers an accurate impression of what I was and was not capable of.
When I started working, I felt overwhelmed because there was so much I didn't know but needed to know to fulfill the responsibilities of my position. I felt like I was not qualified for the position, and had somehow "lucked out". But since I didn't want to just quit, I decided to learn the things I didn't know and get to that point where I felt like I was right for the position, as fast as I could. I was definitely a lot more qualified for the work at the end of my internship than at the start, but I still felt like I was unqualified on an absolute scale. I got a return offer though, and felt even guiltier, and decided not to take it.
Fast forward to this summer: new, bigger software company, same issues. My current manager and team are satisfied with my performance, but I am not. Even though I'm working hard to learn the things I don't know to get to a point where I don't feel guilty, results matter more than effort. Right now, I don't feel that the results I have produced are good enough.
I don't want to go through this sort of thing any more. What is the right thing to do in the future?
While I am a male, my name is considered a girl's name in North America. Due to the diversity hiring efforts in the software industry, I have no problem believing that's what got me an interview.Just have to comment this doesn't make sense to me. Suppose company is trying to fill a gender quota (conceivably) they could ring you up because you got a female-sounding name and they want more women. But when you show up to the interview and see you seem to be more masculine than expected why would they give you the job then if theyre trying to do that??