My answer comes from the following experience: over the last 15 years or so, I've had jobs in which I telecommuted anywhere from 1 day a week to full-time, for a range of companies from those that had an office space where people worked on-site to those that had one in name only (to meet clients and pick up mail), for big organizations and small ones. I currently work for a company that has an office space, people work in it consistently, but several people -- be they regional sales or technical developers -- live thousands of miles away. Those of us who do live close by tend to telecommute a couple days a week because we can.
All of that being said, I firmly believe that "how do I look like I'm doing a good job" or "how do I look like I'm effective" -- which is the root of your question -- is completely dependent upon the industry, individual job, and most importantly the expectations set forth by the company allowing you to telecommute. By that I mean that if a company offers telecommuting possibilities, it is their responsibility to understand that there is a reason your position is suited for it, and to hold you to standards that are reasonable given your location (and not hold you to standards that are unreasonable).
For example, if a company allows telecommuting but does not embrace conference calls, Skype calls, Google Hangouts, or other synchronous means of "being present" for required meetings, then that should not be a black mark against you. And in that situation, I might not take them up on the telecommuting opportunity because I would be setting myself up for failure no matter how great I might be at my job. Similarly, if you are telecommuting and your company requires "presence" in meetings and you don't attend (for some value of "attend") then that should be a black mark against you. It's a two-way street, but both parties need to know how to read the map.
As far as the work itself, if your company has good internal practices for making processes and product transparent -- e.g. if you're a developer and you check in your code and update your bugs/tickets/tasks assignments regularly and accurately, or if you're a project manager consistently updating communication plans and other documents, etc -- then as a remote worker continue to use those practices. If a company does not already have a way in which work is made transparent to colleagues (even if it's limited just to those colleagues who need to know), regardless of where you are sitting, then as a remote worker your job is necessarily harder and there's nothing you can do about that besides try to implement transparent processes (and then follow them) and again consider if that is a telecommuting situation you want to get yourself into.
My expectations as a manager are that everyone should be present (for some value of "present") when and where they are supposed to for meetings -- which should be as limited as possible anyway -- and the systems we have in place for showing progress should be used and should show progress. Those expectations are the same regardless of where a person sits.
Now, here's the point where you have to make a choice: Do you take a telecommuting position, or telecommute n number of days per week, when you know the company is not really set up for you to succeed while doing it? This is basically the point at which you decide whether or not the extra work you will have to do to prove you are doing the good job that you are, is or is not something that would inherently mess up your work-life balance.
Let's assume that all of those real (and unfortunately common) issues can be put aside, and imagine you are now working remotely for some number of days per week for a company that understands what that means and your productivity isn't questioned. The steps for "separat[ing] or integrat[ing] your work and home life" are as follows:
- Stop worrying about proving your productivity and just be productive.
- Remember why you wanted to work remotely in the first place.
The answer to #2 is going to put you on a track to figuring out how best to balance work and life, because the answers are different depending on the reason you're doing it.
For example (and these are generalities but still show the overall point):
- If you're telecommuting primarily because you live far from the
office (or the commute to the office is possible but unbearable),
then do what you can to mimic the office structure in your home: have
a separate workspace, keep consistent hours, make work the priority
during those hours.
- If you're telecommuting primarily because there are domestic needs to
attend to -- children and their schedules, for example, or
health-related situations, or elder care, whatever the case may be --
then all of the above is still true: keep a separate workspace, keep
consistent hours, and make work the priority during those hours. In
these cases, "consistent schedule" can mean totally different hours
on different days, but as long as it's consistent week to week then
everyone (including yourself) knows how to integrate with the
schedule. It becomes (or should become) no different than any
other standing meeting -- "Jim has to pick up the kids from soccer at
4 every Wednesday" vs "Jim has a meeting at 4 every Wednesday" is not
materially different; it's still time people schedule around.
Clarity, transparency, and consistency by both you and your employer is what makes telecommuting a success for all -- you get to be productive, the company gets to reap that productivity. For some, a hard split between Work and Home will be necessary, for others, it won't -- it might not be best to focus so much on the hard separation and instead work on a comfortable integration.
