I am in a long internship at an IT company. At first, I was excited because it was the company I wanted and I was doing the job that would help me for my future career. But mostly, I was involved within a team in a very interesting project, and my various tasks helped design the final product; there was interaction everyday and I felt I was useful.
When the project ended, I was given a new task, to match my school program better (NOT an application project but implementing something I have NOT been taught at school). This time I am working alone, for an even longer period than the first project. I am mentally unstable and it's extremely hard for me to work on a brand new thing alone ( I have done it for school but only succeeded after acquiring the status of disabled student). Even to sane persons I believe it's not something you can ask.
My supervisor says this program "can be helpful for future projects" but that's all for the interest. He used to help me for the big project, but now he says he can't. He refers me to another engineer who only gives tips for occasional problems (most of them don't help). All the teams are now involved in new projects which started after my "all-alone task", and some of them have even not been revealed to me. The few colleagues I used to exchange a "hello!" with have been sent elsewhere.
I know there is at least one of these projects which can make me learn things according to my school program - the learning would be effective since this time I would be talking to people. But I never dared to tell my supervisor I want to give up on the task he assigned to me. Now there is less than a month left and my initial wish to take my authorized 7-days vacation turns to dust (who is this girl who's going on vacation while her task fell behind?). I have not taken a single day off since 7 months straight and I feel like my head will burst out.
Even now, I wonder. Without telling anyone about my mental health, should I have spoken to my supervisor and tell him I can't do something that no one in the company knows how to do? That I enjoyed the start of my internship but now it's too hard for me not to talk to anyone and feel like I'm a trash can? That I'm one of the few people in IT who does NOT learn by reading the internet but by hearing someone talk to her and transmit their experience?
This robot life made me lose all motivation. "Sit down, do as if you were working, read the code again, try to resolve this problem, try another solution, do as if you were working, hear the others work in a team and laugh, get out". Is it still time to speak my feelings? I am not planning to work in this company after my internship.