So I've decided to leave my job. There's a number of reasons, but I suppose the final straw was when I came back to my desk to overhear my manager trash talking about me to a co-worker. She was mocking my inability to understand the scope of a project, and made the point that I had the audacity to ask for a written description in a meeting about said project. I understand things better when they're written, and anyway I don't think that matters.

Later that day my manager proceeded to tell me I was implementing a project the wrong way (which for the record, I'm fine with, being wrong is part of becoming a better engineer) and proceeded to block me from working for the rest of the day til 30 minutes before the days end. Then at the end we have a meeting and all agreed the best way to implement it was the way I was working on before I was blocked. I was then left to finish out the week at 60+ hours while my manager left to go on vacation for a week, not before going to tell the other managers what she had done to my work day, I heard them all having a nice laugh about it before they all headed out for the weekend. I did not receive as much as a thank you for my hard work or a my bad for ruining your Friday night. I then worked this whole weekend to get the project done in time.

This is a continuing pattern in a series of events that have challenged my mental fortitude and basic sanity. Aside from my junior year of college I've never been this miserable. I could really use some advice from the seasoned vets of SE because if this is what software engineering is I'm afraid I got into the wrong field.

Going forward I'm not sure if this field is right for me. I've been able to tackle every challenge they've given me and needed no training to start the job. Yet there's still all this bitterness. I suppose should mention I'm a fresh graduate (CS BS!), have been working this job about 6 months, and am bracing for the be happy you have a job responses.

I've heard don't leave until you have a new job, but I want to quit today. I'm working remotely today but cannot stand the thought of going in tomorrow. To complicate matters my manager is in vacation..

  • To put it in perspective I think I would be okay never working in dev again if thats the cost of quitting this job immediately. How's THAT for a young and dumb statement? – The Riddl33r Nov 24 '14 at 17:11
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    While this is all very regrettable: What is your actual question? – Hilmar Nov 24 '14 at 17:22
  • @TheRiddl33r I think you probably misunderstand what StackExchange sites are about. This is a Q&A site not a discussion forum. Do you actually have a question you would like answered or do you just need to vent? – maple_shaft Nov 24 '14 at 17:31
  • I guess I'm asking is it unreasonable to leave without 2 weeks notice if my manager is openly mocking my abilities to others in the office? – The Riddl33r Nov 24 '14 at 17:44
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    That sounds like an unpleasant situation. I agree with the other commenters, though; it's not very clear what your actual question is. I'm putting this on hold temporarily; please edit to clarify what the question is, and that will automatically put the question into the review queue for possible reopening. Thanks. – Monica Cellio Nov 24 '14 at 20:23

Firstly, take a deep breath and maybe confide in a friend before making such an impulse decision.

Obviously, you need to leave this job, but have another one lined up first. Jobs are like women, they will want you more if you already have one (job and a girlfriend). Thus, quitting now will cost you more not only in time/money looking for a job, but in the money lost by not working.

Not every job is like yours. I work 40-45 hours a week on a great team. They let me design my own work and give me feedback. Sometimes they tell me I am wrong, but they are never demeaning and are always willing to help.

It just seems like your company sucks. When you interview, keep in mind you are also interviewing them. Make sure you ask the developers what the hours are like, and how the management is. Also make sure the finances are in line. If they are complaining about overbearing management and long hours, don't take it. No matter how much money they throw at you.

  • Thank you for your empathetic response. I was starting to think everyone in this im – The Riddl33r Nov 24 '14 at 17:24
  • Unfortunately, in the development world, empathy is something that is increasingly lacking. Nine out of ten software engineers lack advanced people skills, and your managers seem to fit this category. – Lawrence Aiello Nov 24 '14 at 17:27
  • Thank you laiello. I agree on both counts and as someone who does have those people skills I'm feeling a little like a fish outta water. I'll make sure my next manager is nicer. I think dealing with this is going to be a lifelong challenge. Ive got time! – The Riddl33r Nov 24 '14 at 17:43
  • I'm going to wait to find a job before leaving, I see the wisdom there. I have you too thank for that. Thank you! – The Riddl33r Nov 24 '14 at 17:47
  • @TheRiddl33r - please don't jump to the conclusion that all software dev jobs suck based on this one sucky experience (I read your comments from where you asked this question on Programmers SE). Trust me, there are plenty of good jobs and also plenty of terrible jobs out there. – Carson63000 Nov 25 '14 at 6:34

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