How can I turn down a request for personal references?

Question

I'm in the process of interviewing for a new job. I was given an offer based on my interview and the recommendation of a former co-worker who now works for this company.

As part of the process, they've provided me with an application for employment that I need to fill out (even though they already have my resume, a direct recommendation from a current employee of theirs, require a background check, and have made an offer.) The application specifically requests personal references.

I'd prefer not to get my personal friends involved with my professional life, or vice versa. What exactly are they hoping to find out from a personal reference that they can't get from the background check, drug screening, and professional references? And how can I politely turn down the request without potentially losing the offer?

Answer 1

I'd check in with your point of contact on this and say just what you said. Determining the company's reasoning for this can be difficult, so don't make assumptions. Just ask them - what kind of personal reference do you want? Is it a must-have? And what do you look for in doing the reference check?

It could be anything from "that's required for another type of position, just skip it" to something in depth and important based on a lesson learned at that company. No way to tell without asking.

I'd keep it to the focus of making sure you give them what they need as opposed to coming across as unwilling to provide it. For example "what are you looking for here?" vs. "do I REALLY need to give you this??".

Answer 2

As long as you provided a sufficient number of professional references along with all your other identification, I don't see the point.

I would ask if the professional references were enough. It could be they are use to entry-level workers who usually only have personal references.

You can always just enter your professional references on this form.

They may have a legitimate reason. You'll ultimately have to ask them.

Answer 3

Personal references = personal professional references, as opposed to impersonal references, such as an HR person verifying employment. The employer just wants to talk to people who've worked with you enough to say something useful to help them evaluate your candidacy.

Answer 4

Give only professional references. Not friends. Call them friends if you wish, but only provide professional references. Many employers are using the internet to find out about prospective employees, by looking at their Facebook account, etc. Remember, just because someone asks for something, doesn't mean you have to provide it. Your friends are your own personal life, and none of their business. Any company that wants to judge you based on that should give you concern to look elsewhere for employment, because they are attempting to judge you based on input, not output. Employers need only be concerned with output.

Another thing to consider, do you really want HR to ask you again, in a year or so, to provide a list again of your personal friends as part of your evaluation? No, of course not. Be very careful here, only professional references at best. But from my experience, if a company is asking for information you are not comfortable with, it's a red flag for them.

Answer 5

Do you have acquaintances that you could use? They are probably trying to see what kind of person you are outside of work as there may be the case that even when you aren't on the clock, you may still be considered a representative of the company and thus they want to know what kind of character you'd be in those situations. The idea here being to find those people that could talk about you but that aren't your nearest and dearest friends.

If you rent where you live, then your landlord may be an idea. Neighbors could also be an idea. The theory here is to just get a few people that can give an idea as to your kind of character.