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My cubicle neighbor belches, farts, chews his food with his mouth wide open and makes moaning noises when he eats as if he was having some private time with himself. And he is about 10 years older than me.

I have told my boss about it. He replied that I should buy a pair of headphones and tune him out. So I cannot be going to go to HR behind my boss's back.

I am not even going to talk about the smells.

I never though of myself as a prude. Being the last of 3 brothers, I am pretty sure I can put up with a lot but this is too much.

What can I do?

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If at all possible see if the office will buy the noise cancelling headphones. They are the ones refusing to fix the problem, so they should be on the hook for the cost. Make sure to make your request on writing, documenting the issues you have with the person. Documenting that you have informed your manager of the problem is key. Once something is in writing, the manager knows you are serious and that the problem will probably be escalated if he doesn't act.

Now they may or may not be willing to buy the headphones, but now you have documented the problems.

If the noise cancelling headphones don't work, then the next email is to your boss with a CC to the HR representative. Include the original email as an attachment. Point out the problem still exists and that the suggested remedy did not work and that it is affecting your productivity. If possible get others around you to complain formally too. Request formally in this email that either you be moved or the other person be moved. Copying HR is probably enough to get him to realize that there is a real problem that isn't going to go away. If your HR team is any good at all, they will follow-up and take action on their own as well. I would go to HR with this if he doesn't take action at that point. It is HR's job to handle such issues. It is better to let them know of the problem than to escalate to your boss's boss.

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  • Sensible approach. It is definitely a PITA to have to go such extreme but I will make it work. Thank you.
    – user3207
    Sep 18, 2012 at 22:30
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    In addition to the headphones, buy a small fan to redirect smells, perhaps one with a deodorizer unit. I noticed several of these being sold on eBay by Chinese vendors.
    – jfrankcarr
    Sep 19, 2012 at 1:41
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    @jfrankcarr, lol, redirect the smells back to the bad guy, brilliant :D
    – Vorac
    Sep 24, 2012 at 5:10
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    I'm going to add a bit of a contrarian view to CC'ing HR on this. HR is usually there for the company, and putting the boss on the spot like that could come with unfair repercussions. It might be easier to request that you be moved to a different space if and when available. Good luck!
    – Keoma
    Nov 4, 2012 at 13:55
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    Totally. Do not think that HR are on your side, as an employee. They are there to manage you for the company.
    – GreenAsJade
    Oct 14, 2014 at 6:41
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I would suggest having a firm, polite and direct conversation with your co-worker. I believe being passive aggressive (spraying air freshener,etc.) may not work. It may even encourage worse behavior. If you are on civil terms with your colleague, just tell him directly that his behavior bothers you and give clear examples.

Sometimes people are not aware of things that they do. There may also be cultural issues at play here. For example, I work with many Japanese people and it is very common to "slurp" when you eat noodles or have some soup. This is just acceptable behavior here in Japan, but may be viewed as "gross" somewhere else. So that may also be a factor to watch out for..

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  • If I remember correctly, Japanese people slurp to actually be polite. By slurping, they mark that they are actually consuming the food\drink.
    – Sharain
    Jul 21, 2014 at 14:02
  • @Sharain there are cultural norms to consider. The Book "Kiss, Bow and Shake Hands" is a great overview of this. ... But, some people eat like animals and are insolent about requests that they respect the comfort of others. Sometimes a direct approach works when the person is closer to you, but certain 'organizational distances' can complicate having a direct conversation.
    – New Alexandria
    Oct 14, 2014 at 14:03
  • I can attest to the cultural norms, having worked together with a variety of especially asian nationalities(Indian, Chinese primarily) - specifically to the eating/dining part. Burbing, for example, isn't rude/disgusting in chinese culture as in the west(but of course, for some chinese, it still is, but in general)
    – cbll
    Jan 30, 2017 at 10:32
  • There may be cultural issues, but they don't usually go that far. People moving to another country usually go out of their way to find out the differences and conform to them to some extent. And every culture has some gross pigs who pretend not to understand the norms.
    – user90842
    Jan 2, 2019 at 21:32
  • While we're talking about culture, let me point out that the worst example I have come across involved a foreign man and an American woman. The woman was not the least inclined to discuss basic hygiene with the foreigner, and furthermore it seemed likely that he would take suggestions even less well from a mere woman. This is one reason managers are paid more - they're supposed to handle these unpleasant conversations, and see to it that basic standards are upheld, even if it means actually sniffing the offender for a minimal amount of upkeep.
    – user90842
    Jan 2, 2019 at 21:36
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I have told my boss about it. He replied that I should buy a pair of headphones and tune him out. So I cannot be going to go to HR behind my boss's back.

  • Buy a token set of headphones and see how it goes for a week.
  • If things don't improve, tell your boss that things haven't improved.
    • Let him adjust the seating plan, talk to the coworker, talk to HR, etc.
    • There's no need for you to take it any further. It's his responsibility.
  • Wait two weeks. If your boss hasn't taken any steps to fix the problem, fire your company and find a new job.
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    Fire my company? In this economy?
    – user3207
    Sep 18, 2012 at 22:36
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    @Chris: Definitely. Who knows? It might take you six months to find a new job. OTOH, it might take you six days. The point is, life is short. If you reach a certain point, fire up the engines, it's time to find a new job.
    – Jim G.
    Sep 18, 2012 at 22:45
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    And fire the company doesn't mean you have to quit on the spot, just that you look for a new job.
    – HLGEM
    Sep 9, 2016 at 18:56
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I would address this issue at it's source.

Tell him that when he moans, eats loudly, belches, farts, and comes to work smelling horrible, it is very distracting and makes it difficult to work.

See if he is even aware of these behaviors.

I would do this before other escalations.

The caveat here is, if you would like this to be anonymous, go to yours or his direct supervisor and file the complaint there.

The supervisor can anonymize this and address the situation by talking to him about these behaviors. This is good if you are worried about retaliation, hurt feelings, or confrontation.

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Try the headphones.

Ask to be moved.

Ask the person to fart somewhere else so you don't have to smell it. Do him a favor and suggest he learns how to act in public.

If things don't improve, talk to your boss again before going over his head. He needs to understand your requests are reasonable and affect your productivity. This isn't going to be resolved over night. If making noises and disrupting people is acceptable behavior, skip the headphones and play your music outloud.

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    I never had trouble telling people what I think but it very much goes against my employer's philosophy. Thanks for your input though.
    – user3207
    Sep 18, 2012 at 22:35
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    How bout just keeping air freshener in your desk? If it's ok for him to fart, it should be ok for you to spray air freshener.
    – Amy Blankenship
    Sep 18, 2012 at 23:57
  • @AmyBlankenship I even saw an ad a few weeks ago(a joke, probably) about ingestible pills that actually make your fart pleasant to smell. Maybe slip a powder of those in his food or something?
    – cst1992
    Apr 16, 2016 at 7:00
  • "Skip the headphones and play your music outloud" -> Perfect example of unacceptable aggressive behaviour. Putting gasoline on fire will make only problems worse
    – usr-local-ΕΨΗΕΛΩΝ
    Jan 3, 2019 at 17:40
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You can record him and play his own sounds back to him. Most people are unaware of the sounds they make.

If you are polite and he is nice about it he'll try to adjust and try to be more aware of it.

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  • I can attest that this works with some people, but not with others. Still, worth a try.
    – user10483
    Oct 28, 2013 at 19:44
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Try the headphones for a week and if (sorry, when) they don't work go back to your boss and explain that they aren't working.

If he won't/can't help you at this point then you can go to his boss or HR. You should tell your boss that you need this problem sorting out and need to talk to someone who can help. Obviously don't make it sound like a threat.

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  • I understand what you're saying but I always thought of going to my your boss's boss for a problem was a big no-no. I don't want to get sacked over this.
    – user3207
    Sep 18, 2012 at 21:45
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    @Chris - if your boss can't/won't help then there's nowhere else to go. It's his boss's job to sort it out.
    – ChrisF
    Sep 18, 2012 at 21:47
  • Headphones do not hide smells... :-)
    – usr-local-ΕΨΗΕΛΩΝ
    Jan 3, 2019 at 17:41
  • @usr I assumed that the question was mainly about the noise.
    – ChrisF
    Jan 3, 2019 at 20:19
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This was happening to me, most of the above, and some inappropriate touching (Hands down trousers)!

After speaking to my immediates, I was told to either speak with him myself, or "bring HR into it".

A polite email saying that he might not know that I can see - and it all stopped! No need for HR, no need to cause any embarrassment.

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If your boss said get headphones, emphasize that it's not just the sounds. It's also the smells. It's also that you feel offended, distracted or uncomfortable having your personal space violated by gaseous releases. Emphasize that the whole combination of sensory experiences is not just making you uncomfortable but it's distracting you from your work and agitating you in a way that makes you less effective at your work.

Tell your boss that you don't want to, but it's important enough to you that if they don't take effective action, that you will have to go to HR to come up with a solution. Then give them some time and do so. Your boss likely wants to avoid the unpleasant conversation with your coworker (maybe they'll put a post up here soon asking how to deal with the disciplinary problem!). Recognize that it's not easy for them. It is their responsibility though. Give them a chance to do something and let them know that if they fail in that obligation, you will go to somebody else.

If they have a good sense of humor, if they downplay your needs again you could always leave noise cancelling headphones on their desk with a note that says, "Since you don't think it's a big deal, I figured we could trade desks?"

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I had an issue like this once, and found an interesting solution.

Our monitors were visible to other people, so I displayed on my monitor a blog article about the issues of people chewing with their mouth open. It had a big picture of someone, mouth agape full of food. Very visceral. I left it up anytime I walked away from my desk. I also increased the font size, slightly, to make it easier to ready the headline and such.

The mood changed palpably in the coming days, as everyone got on vibe.

It didn't take too long for someone else to openly start a discussion with me about people who chew with their mouths open. That pretty much sealed it.

This was a PA approach, but it was ultimately effective. YMMV.

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  • This is passive-aggressive and I'd say has a low chance of succeeding.
    – cbll
    Aug 29, 2016 at 10:41

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